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Re: [RC] NOT Married because of horses... - Diane Trefethen

Reading these posts on spouses, et al, it seems the authors are divided into two types - those who got hurt and don't see the point of going there again and those who see the situation with clear eyes, not clouded by past emotional grief. While I identify with the former, having been raised to be a good little girl (read codependent), I can rejoice in the clarity of the latter group. They grew up with mentoring and an attitude like Faustina's dad that taught them to love and appreciate themselves.

Parents can only teach and model what they know. Although we could take classes, get therapy or read self-help books, we're usually too bogged down with the day to day stuff so it's not till much later that we get help with our thought processes. So we play the fake person we've learned to be and teach our kids the same :(

We can't change the past or what other people think but we can change how WE think. We don't, usually. It's easier not to. Because lying down at the base of our "independence" is that old fear that if we dig deep enough, we'll discover for sure that we really are nobody. Better the facade. Better the bravado.


Horse related... While people buy into our pretenses, our horses don't. They can't see the masks we wear. So if you are still afraid of who you really are, ask your horses (they won't tell anyone else). Their answers will fill your souls and give you courage.


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[RC] NOT Married because of horses..., Natalie Herman
RE: [RC] NOT Married because of horses..., Juli Jakub