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[RC] Perfect Man - Bruce Weary

Okay, hold it everybody! Ever since my idle comment about building my perfect wife in the basement, I have been inundated with orders from several of you ladies out there to construct a "Perfect Man." The blueprints for such a creature do exist, but this is highly classified information, folks! I will need proper security clearance from each of you ladies, preferably delivered in a plain brown paper bag by courier in a lone parking lot in the dead of night. Once you clear security, I will need to know specifically which of the following options you will want installed in your new male unit:
1) Can say "Let's stop and ask for directions."
2) Can complete a "honey do" list in the proper allotted time.
3) Can say "I apologize sincerely. Can you ever forgive me?"
4) Rides horses.
5) Crews happily.
6) Will pay for your massages and visits to the chiropractor without complaint.
7) Can pronounce Brighton, Louis Vuitton, and Yves Saint Laurent properly.
8) "Whisper Mode" for otherwise noisy bodily functions
9) Other (Please specify)______________________
Please send $100,000 in U.S. currency to " Fer Sher Dude Productions" Dr Quackenbush, Director of Manufacturing
Prescott, Arizona
Caution: Unit must undergo initial training for proper behavior. Comes complete with Positive Reinforcement Tool : Bag of dog biscuits
and Negative Reinforcement Tool: Rolling Pin



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