And some of them have no business mentoring others even with their "years"
of experience. AERC has a great website set up with people who are looking to
mentor people and steer them in the right direction. Look under "newbies" and
you will find a mentor in your area. You can ask them lots of questions and many
will do a ride with you and help you so much you won't believe it. And you will
learn the right way to condition and ride your horse. And they ask for
nothing in return. They just do it out of the kindness of their heart and to
better this sport.
Get a good book on Co-Dependency. Learn to say "not
today" You will survie and be happier if you learn to let go of your need
to please her . You don't need her approval. You can agree
to disagree. Whose life is it anyway? Laurie
/Rascal/Honey?Scout (now if I can just learn those lessons myself)
;}
>From: RENESPONY@xxxxxx >To: ridecamp@xxxxxxxxxxxxx >Subject:
[RC] buddy problem(long) >Date: Sat, 26 Jul 2003 23:05:34
EDT > >i know some of you would give your right arm for a riding
buddy but i got a >problem. >my ridding buddy is a pain in the
butt. we simply do not get along. >however i feel like the ungrateful
witch for saying anything. >heres the story.she has the truck, i have
the trailer and all the camping >equipment,and extra horse stuff.and
good thing i do cause she is totally >unprepared for
everything. > we board at the same place and both work there
part time. >she probably wouldn't go to rides if she couldn't get
someone to go with >her, >and it would be silly to take two
rigs from the same barn to go to the same >ride, cant we just get
along???? >i have been with horses for over 20 years and she has been
doing it for 2, >so >i guess you could call her a newbie. both
our experiences are LD. >she's got a 6 yro NSH i got a 8 yro
qtr/arab. >unfortunately she wont listen to anyone including the
trainers and the vet. >she goes crazy with the conditioning, tries to
always ride 5-6 times a >week, >wants to go with me all the
time when i ride, wants to ride all day and go >fast. >she will
say "lets go out and do an easy hour ride" we get home 3 1/2
hours >later after i chase her over hill and dale.now her boy can
cover ground, >has a >huge stride and i cant keep up on the
little Arab cross. so i either try to >keep up or leave her in the
woods.her favorite thing is the 10 minute trot, >and >she loves
the gravel roads cause she has to walk in those darn woods! >she will
constantly bust my chops to catch up and push him harder.she says
>we >are trotting then her horse will break into a canter and
she will take off >because she enjoys going fast. she hates to walk
because its boring, and >will >walk till i come trotting up
then take off again.she does the same thing at >rides and i have
pulled back and sent her on ahead much to her dismay. she
>wants >someone to talk to and that's the big thing about why
she wants me right >beside >her the whole
day. > >I've tried reasoning with her, faining a pain in my side
to get her to slow >down,etc. >her poor horse is only 6 and the
vet is telling her he is getting worn in >the >stifles already.
the horse is frequently stiff the next day and is now >blowing
abcesses in his feet. >you think my horse would come into great shape
from chasing our "rabbit" >but >the pace is blowing his mind,
and he gets uncontrollable at strange places >(like rides!) >we
are fine alone, and fine if in a familiar place. hey, i love to go
fast >too, but this is too much. >i have copied articles off the
Internet to inform her, lent her books, but >it >seems to fuel
the fire to "do better" at every ride. a little bit of >knowledge is
dangerous. >i am looking to part company with her, so i can enjoy
myself and ride my >own >pace. >her darn horse always
scores better than mine even though i top 10 every >ride. >the
horse could be a star, he's a dream to watch, covering ground,
>drinking, >eating gets great scores (98 +99's) if she don't
run him into the ground. >two different people with two different
horses. >So now am I an ungrateful witch? >She can be so nice,
and we use her truck for everything, which should be >cool. >A
person who wants to go everywhere and do everything! Wouldn't that be
a >dream? > >now i see in her tack room 6 tubs of
supplements and vitamins, which she is >giving him twice a day, and
she is telling me she doubles the dose on hard >days >of
work. >aaaargh!! and the funny thing is she will sit and lecture you
on all the >fine >things she learned in her books, and what the
vet told her to do. >i really, really hold my tongue and try not to
argue with her as she tells >me >how its gonna be and why am i
doing this and that? >no matter how nice i put it, she will be upset
if i tell her I'm doing my >own >thing and don't want to do
things with her any more. >but I've had enough and am not enjoying
myself any more. what am i to
do? > >Rene > >=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= > >
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