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Re: [RC] [RC] buddy problem(long) - Laurie Durgin

Get a good book on Co-Dependency.
Learn to say "not today"
You will survie and be happier if you learn to let go of your need to please her .
You don't need her approval.
You can agree to disagree.
Whose life is it anyway?
Laurie /Rascal/Honey?Scout (now if I can just learn those lessons myself) ;}



From: RENESPONY@xxxxxx
To: ridecamp@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [RC]   buddy problem(long)
Date: Sat, 26 Jul 2003 23:05:34 EDT

i know some of you would give your right arm for a riding buddy but i got a
problem.
my ridding buddy is a pain in the butt. we simply do not get along.
however i feel like the ungrateful witch for saying anything.
heres the story.she has the truck, i have the trailer and all the camping
equipment,and extra horse stuff.and good thing i do cause she is totally
unprepared for everything.
we board at the same place and both work there part time.
she probably wouldn't go to rides if she couldn't get someone to go with her,
and it would be silly to take two rigs from the same barn to go to the same
ride, cant we just get along????
i have been with horses for over 20 years and she has been doing it for 2, so
i guess you could call her a newbie. both our experiences are LD.
she's got a 6 yro NSH i got a 8 yro qtr/arab.
unfortunately she wont listen to anyone including the trainers and the vet.
she goes crazy with the conditioning, tries to always ride 5-6 times a week,
wants to go with me all the time when i ride, wants to ride all day and go
fast.
she will say "lets go out and do an easy hour ride" we get home 3 1/2 hours
later after i chase her over hill and dale.now her boy can cover ground, has a
huge stride and i cant keep up on the little Arab cross. so i either try to
keep up or leave her in the woods.her favorite thing is the 10 minute trot, and
she loves the gravel roads cause she has to walk in those darn woods!
she will constantly bust my chops to catch up and push him harder.she says we
are trotting then her horse will break into a canter and she will take off
because she enjoys going fast. she hates to walk because its boring, and will
walk till i come trotting up then take off again.she does the same thing at
rides and i have pulled back and sent her on ahead much to her dismay. she wants
someone to talk to and that's the big thing about why she wants me right beside
her the whole day.


I've tried reasoning with her, faining a pain in my side to get her to slow
down,etc.
her poor horse is only 6 and the vet is telling her he is getting worn in the
stifles already. the horse is frequently stiff the next day and is now
blowing abcesses in his feet.
you think my horse would come into great shape from chasing our "rabbit" but
the pace is blowing his mind, and he gets uncontrollable at strange places
(like rides!)
we are fine alone, and fine if in a familiar place. hey, i love to go fast
too, but this is too much.
i have copied articles off the Internet to inform her, lent her books, but it
seems to fuel the fire to "do better" at every ride. a little bit of
knowledge is dangerous.
i am looking to part company with her, so i can enjoy myself and ride my own
pace.
her darn horse always scores better than mine even though i top 10 every ride.
the horse could be a star, he's a dream to watch, covering ground, drinking,
eating gets great scores (98 +99's) if she don't run him into the ground.
two different people with two different horses.
So now am I an ungrateful witch?
She can be so nice, and we use her truck for everything, which should be cool.
A person who wants to go everywhere and do everything! Wouldn't that be a
dream?


now i see in her tack room 6 tubs of supplements and vitamins, which she is
giving him twice a day, and she is telling me she doubles the dose on hard days
of work.
aaaargh!! and the funny thing is she will sit and lecture you on all the fine
things she learned in her books, and what the vet told her to do.
i really, really hold my tongue and try not to argue with her as she tells me
how its gonna be and why am i doing this and that?
no matter how nice i put it, she will be upset if i tell her I'm doing my own
thing and don't want to do things with her any more.
but I've had enough and am not enjoying myself any more. what am i to do?


Rene

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