Get a good book on Co-Dependency. Learn to say "not
today" You will survie and be happier if you learn to let go of your need
to please her . You don't need her approval. You can agree to
disagree. Whose life is it anyway? Laurie
/Rascal/Honey?Scout (now if I can just learn those lessons myself)
;}
>From: RENESPONY@xxxxxx >To: ridecamp@xxxxxxxxxxxxx >Subject:
[RC] buddy problem(long) >Date: Sat, 26 Jul 2003 23:05:34
EDT > >i know some of you would give your right arm for a riding
buddy but i got a >problem. >my ridding buddy is a pain in the
butt. we simply do not get along. >however i feel like the ungrateful
witch for saying anything. >heres the story.she has the truck, i have
the trailer and all the camping >equipment,and extra horse stuff.and
good thing i do cause she is totally >unprepared for
everything. > we board at the same place and both work there part
time. >she probably wouldn't go to rides if she couldn't get someone to
go with >her, >and it would be silly to take two rigs from the
same barn to go to the same >ride, cant we just get along???? >i
have been with horses for over 20 years and she has been doing it for 2,
>so >i guess you could call her a newbie. both our experiences
are LD. >she's got a 6 yro NSH i got a 8 yro
qtr/arab. >unfortunately she wont listen to anyone including the
trainers and the vet. >she goes crazy with the conditioning, tries to
always ride 5-6 times a >week, >wants to go with me all the time
when i ride, wants to ride all day and go >fast. >she will say
"lets go out and do an easy hour ride" we get home 3 1/2 hours >later
after i chase her over hill and dale.now her boy can cover ground, >has
a >huge stride and i cant keep up on the little Arab cross. so i either
try to >keep up or leave her in the woods.her favorite thing is the 10
minute trot, >and >she loves the gravel roads cause she has to
walk in those darn woods! >she will constantly bust my chops to catch up
and push him harder.she says >we >are trotting then her horse
will break into a canter and she will take off >because she enjoys going
fast. she hates to walk because its boring, and >will >walk till
i come trotting up then take off again.she does the same thing at >rides
and i have pulled back and sent her on ahead much to her dismay. she
>wants >someone to talk to and that's the big thing about why she
wants me right >beside >her the whole day. > >I've
tried reasoning with her, faining a pain in my side to get her to
slow >down,etc. >her poor horse is only 6 and the vet is telling
her he is getting worn in >the >stifles already. the horse is
frequently stiff the next day and is now >blowing abcesses in his
feet. >you think my horse would come into great shape from chasing our
"rabbit" >but >the pace is blowing his mind, and he gets
uncontrollable at strange places >(like rides!) >we are fine
alone, and fine if in a familiar place. hey, i love to go fast >too, but
this is too much. >i have copied articles off the Internet to inform
her, lent her books, but >it >seems to fuel the fire to "do
better" at every ride. a little bit of >knowledge is dangerous. >i
am looking to part company with her, so i can enjoy myself and ride my
>own >pace. >her darn horse always scores better than mine
even though i top 10 every >ride. >the horse could be a star,
he's a dream to watch, covering ground, >drinking, >eating gets
great scores (98 +99's) if she don't run him into the ground. >two
different people with two different horses. >So now am I an ungrateful
witch? >She can be so nice, and we use her truck for everything, which
should be >cool. >A person who wants to go everywhere and do
everything! Wouldn't that be a >dream? > >now i see in her
tack room 6 tubs of supplements and vitamins, which she is >giving him
twice a day, and she is telling me she doubles the dose on hard
>days >of work. >aaaargh!! and the funny thing is she will
sit and lecture you on all the >fine >things she learned in her
books, and what the vet told her to do. >i really, really hold my tongue
and try not to argue with her as she tells >me >how its gonna be
and why am i doing this and that? >no matter how nice i put it, she will
be upset if i tell her I'm doing my >own >thing and don't want to
do things with her any more. >but I've had enough and am not enjoying
myself any more. what am i to
do? > >Rene > >=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= > >
http://www.endurance.net/ads/seabiscuit.html > >
Ridecamp is a service of Endurance Net, http://www.endurance.net. >
Information, Policy, Disclaimer: http://www.endurance.net/Ridecamp >
Subscribe/Unsubscribe http://www.endurance.net/ridecamp/logon.asp > >
Ride Long and Ride
Safe!! > >=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= >
