Home Current News News Archive Shop/Advertise Ridecamp Classified Events Learn/AERC
Endurance.Net Home Ridecamp Archives
[Archives Index]   [Date Index]   [Thread Index]   [Author Index]   [Subject Index]

[RC] Gorgeous ride today! and...Rules of the Barn - Ranelle Rubin

Did a wonderful ride with a friend today..about 26 or so miles..some of the most beautiful country within an hour of a major airport in the country..how's that for politically correct? Anyway, wanted to make a few of you smile with an email sent to me the other day:

Rules of the barn:


1. I am human. You are horse. What I say goes. Please take that into consideration when you are standing on my foot.


2. Spilled grain is not "fair game", especially when it is spilled in another horse's stall. ?It still belongs to that particular horse. You have no reason to go in and eat it.


3. Poop does not need to be hidden. I clean your stall every day. I will Find it. Do not hide it.


4. I do not need your help when I clean the barn, nor do I need your supervision, or even your presence. I have been cleaning the barn and stalls ever since you lived here. I know what I am doing.Standing at the door staring at me, will not make me clean faster.


5. There is no need to go into the barn and help yourself to the feed.? Meals Are given at specific times of the day. There is a feed schedule. You know the schedule. I know you know the schedule. You know that I know that you know the schedule. There is no need to help yourself.


6. Water buckets are not toys. Neither is the gate, pitchfork, wheel barrow, whatever is in the wheel barrow, fence, or the occasional dog.


7. The wheel barrows there for a reason. Please do not try to move it while I am cleaning your stall.


8. Just because I go into the Barn doesn't mean you automatically get food. There is other stuff in the barn. Stuff you don't want.Like de wormer and fly spray , shots, medicine.


9. Sheath cleaning will NOT be enjoyed...by anyone.


10. Water travels through the hose. If you are thirsty, do not stand on the hose. The water buckets will fill much faster.


11. Not everything has to be high drama. None of the following things will kill you: fly spray, plastic bags, balloons, hoses, chipmunks and other small rodents, or bright blue tarps.


12. Although I understand the nee d for you to go to the bathroom, it is not necessary to hold it in all day until the moment I finish cleaning your stall and put away the wheel barrow.


13. Accidents happen. However, I'm not altogether sure you're not trying to kill yourself. Next time you decide to impale yourself on some sort of object, please try to do it when it's not hailing, midnight, the weekend, or Christmas.


14. While I appreciate your need to be clean, pooping in your water bucket does not make my job easier, and it deprives you of water. Please find a new spot.


15. Whinnying as loudly as you can in my face does not make me feed you any faster.


16. I have to wait patiently too while you are having your shoes tacked on. There is no need to bite me.


Surgeons General Warning: Horses are expensive, addictive, and may impair the ability to use common sense.


Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway. ~ John Wayne

Ranelle Rubin, Business Consultant
Independent Dynamite Distributor

530-885-3510 home office
916-718-2427 cellular
916-848-3662 fax