Endurance.Net Ridecamp Archives

Like almost 50% of Americans I am divorced from my first spouse.  When I
met my second wife I spent almost every weekend on the road racing my
bicycle throughout the country.  Unlike my first wife, wife #2, enjoyed
attending some events w/me, but her heart was into her horses.  For Gods
sake I couldn't put on a halter or pick a hoof!  After a long illness that
forced me to retire from cycling wife #2 horses, not wife #2 per say, gave
me the horse bug, but unlike her interests in showing, the horse bug
infected me w/interests in CTR and endurance.  While we share a love of
horses she rarely rides w/me & in all honesty for someone who rides so
well, she can be a real whiner on even a 2 hour ride.  It might change a
bit over time since she rode one CTR last year & is going to ride 3 or more
for other people this year, but by in large I am happy to be happily
married and happy to have the joy I have being with my horse.  My first
wife was all about changing me & wanting me to be someone I was not.  Her
efforts resulted in both of us finding happiness elsewhere........well I
did anyhow.

Ask yourself what you'd be willing to accept.  My fear is that when someone
says that horses are a big part of their life & they "just" want their
spouse to share it with them, that that target moves up w/each goal.  For
example, your spouse finally shows interest in horses & thats what you said
you want, does it stop there?  Now you'd like them to join you on some
rides, and eventually then would you like them to come to some events? And
then you'd like to compete for the AERC husband-wife award?  Seems to me
people often want to be married to themselves, not to someone else.  I
wanted to be married to somone I enjoyed being with & I found that,
finally, so for me its case closed.  If she never attend and event or rides
with me I am cool with that.  I know we use terms like "encourage" but in
reality we are trying to change our spouses...............and if you
haven't yet gone through the big "D" I really don't recommend it.  Trying
to change your spouse and ask them to be what you want them to be is a sure
fire way to keep divorce lawyers fat and happy.  If you have a good one,
keep them: horse or spouse, but don't expect the 2 to be at the same level
of interest.


My 2cents

Jon


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Ridecamp is a service of Endurance Net, http://www.endurance.net.
Information, Policy, Disclaimer: http://www.endurance.net/Ridecamp
Subscribe/Unsubscribe http://www.endurance.net/ridecamp/logon.asp

Ride Long and Ride Safe!!

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=