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[RC] Warmer Weather--Very Long - Ridecamp Guest

Please Reply to: Bruce Weary bweary@xxxxxxxxxxxx or ridecamp@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Time to change the atmosphere a bit. My best to Bev and Paladin, and for those 
of you wishing for warmer weather, consider the following diary I recently came 
across. Be careful what you wish for.........
Dear Diary,
May 30th: Just moved to Mesa, Arizona. Now this is a city that knows how to 
live! Beautiful, sunny days and warm balmy evenings.
Mountains and deserts blend together. What a place! Watched the
sunset from a park, lying on a blanket. It was beautiful. I've finally found a 
home. I love it here.
June 14th: Really heating up. Got to 100 degrees today. Not a problem. Live in 
an air conditioned home and drive an air conditioned car. What a pleasure to 
see the sun every day like this. I'm turning into a real sun-worshipper.
June 30th: Had the back yard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of 
cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing for me. Another 
scorcher, but I love it here.
July 10th:The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. 
How do people get used to this kind of weather? At least it's 
nice and windy though, but getting used to it is taking longer
than I expected.
July 15th: Fell asleep by the pool.Got third degree burns over 
sixty percent of my body. Missed two days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I 
learned my lesson, though. Got to respect the
ol' sun in a climate like this.
July 20th: I missed Morgan (our cat) sneaking into the car 
when I left for work this morning. By the tiime I got out to
the car for lunch, Morgan had swollen to the size of a shopping bag and 
exploded all over two thousand dollars of leather upholstery. I told the kids 
she ran away. The car now smells
like kibbles and sh**. No more pets in this heat.
July 25th: This wind sucks. It feels like a giant freakin' blow-
dryer! The home air conditioner is on the fritz and the
A/C repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he
needed to order parts.
July 30th: Been sleeping outside by the pool for three nights now. Fifteen 
hundred dollars in damn house payments and we can't even go inside. Why did I 
ever come here?
August 4th: It's 113 degrees. Finally got the A/C fixed. It cost
$500 and only gets the temperature down to about 90 degrees.
Stupid repairman peed in my pool. I hate this stupid city.
August 8th: If another wise-ass says "Hot enough for you today?"
I'm going to tear his throat out. Damn the heat. By the time
I get to work, the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are
soaking wet, and I smell like roasted freakin' Garfield.
August 9th: Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts and
sat on the black leather seating in the ol' car. I thought
my ass was on fire. I lost two layers of flesh. Now my car smells like burnt 
ass and fried cat.
August 10th: The weather report might as well be a damn 
recording: hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do sh** for two months, and the 
weatherman says it might really warm up next
week.
August 14th: Welcome to Hell! the temperature got up to 115
degrees today. Forgot to crack the window and blew the
windshield out of the Lincoln. The installer came to fix it
and said "Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to spend
the $1500 house payment to bail me out of jail.

I'm just the messenger, folks.    Bruce Weary




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