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[RC] Just for fun - smuncy

  Ok, apologize in advance, but thought  we could use a little humor. 
   Murphy's Horse / Barn Laws
  1.   If you do a thorough check of your trailer before hauling, your truck
        will break down.
  1a.  And your cell phone will not work.  Or, your 'auto/truck plan' will
        not cover expenses, and you are exactly half way between home and destination. 
       And  you left your major credit card -at home.! Of course, all contacts for 'help' are
        'stored' in your  cell phone contacts list. No service.
  1b. Most 'major'  home / barn  'problems' will occur when you are away at a  Ride. Ie, the 
       well pump fails, the furnace quits.  'Oldie'  gets a "bellyache". Your Mother, Spouse,
        In-Laws,  neighbor calls, while you are 'on the road' -  and " Wants to know   " What to 
        Do !?"
  2.   There is no such thing as a sterile barn cat.
  2a.  If you manage to catch and innoculate, spay/neater  'a stray', something   " will 
         'happen' to it ". Or, it will become a housecat. Guarenteed. ( Same applies to dogs)
  2b. Once you feed a 'stray' it is yours.
  3.   No one ever notices how you ride until you fall off.
  3a. You will not  'fall off ', ' be bucked off ', 'unseated'.... unless someone is there
        watching. If,  only they could have seen your  'great skill'  (luck)  in riding  Ole Killers' 
        bucks /  shys / "flights of fancy",  "airs above ground"  before.
  4.   The least useful horse in your barn will eat the most, require shoes
         every four weeks and will need the vet at least once a month.
 4a.  Sell him,  forget it  !! , you can not even give him away.!!  ( See above  3a, 5, 6, and
      . 21 )
  5.   A horse's misbehavior will be in direct proportion to the number of
         people who are watching. Especially, if  the  horse is for sell.!
  6.   Tack you hate never wears out; blankets you hate cannot be destroyed;
         horses you hate cannot be sold and will outlive you.
   6a. Mice and mold will only attack useful,  and liked articles.
   6b.  Horses you never ride, are never lame, or sick.
  7.   Clipper blades will become dull only when the horse is half-finished.
       Clipper motors will quit only when you have the horse's head left to trim.
  8.   If you're wondering if you left the water on in the barn, you did.  If
       you're wondering if you latched the pasture gate, you didn't.
 9.   One horse isn't enough; two is too many.
10. If you approach within 50 feet of the barn in your "street clothes," you
      will get dirty.  (You do not own any white clothing.)
11. You can't push a horse on a longe line.
12. If a horse is advertised "under $5,000," you can bet he isn't $2,500.
13. The number of horses you own increases according to the number of stalls
       in your barn.( plus one)
 13 a.  The number of horses you have increases by X  2 - 3,  to the amount of acreage that  
         you  need to support them on.
14. An uncomplicated horse can be ruined with enough schooling.
15. You can't run a barn without baling twine.( and Duct tape)
16. Hoof picks migrate.
 16 a.  If you thought you put "it" there, you did; and "it" migrated, applies to everything in the
      barn, including horses.
17. Wind velocity increases in direct proportion to how well your hat fits. And / Or which  
      direction you need to throw that shovel / pitchfork full of......
18. There is no such thing as the "right feed."
 18 a. If you get the "Right Feed / Hay" - you can bet your horse that needs it most, will not
         eat  it, even if nothing else available.And he will probably prefer the fence.
19. If you fall off, you will land on the site of your most recent injury.
19a  This is after you have exhausted all your  'sick leave' at work ( for the same injury),
        and try explaining that  to the Boss.
 20. You can not own enough feed tubs / water backets. Blankets, towels, wraps.
 21.  The horse you want to keep in, or the one you want to keep out - can always open the
       stall door.  No matter what kind of latch you use.
 21a. The one you want to keep in, is let out by the other above.
 21b. You have exhausted all means to keep  that horse from opening all gates, stall and feed
        doors,  - you give him a stall, and he is happy, but "a stall pig". 
 21c. The horse that is 'left out', is "stall trained"  and only would mess a certain spot.
 22. If you're winning, quit.  ( FYI - you can't win. It is only an illusion.)