Ok, apologize in advance, but thought
we could use a little humor.
Murphy's Horse / Barn Laws
1. If you do a
thorough check of your trailer before hauling, your truck
will break down.
1a. And your cell
phone will not work. Or, your 'auto/truck plan' will
not cover expenses, and you
are exactly half way between home and destination.
And you left your major credit
card -at home.! Of course, all contacts for 'help' are
'stored' in your cell phone contacts list. No
service.
1b.
Most 'major' home / barn 'problems' will occur when you are
away at a Ride. Ie, the
well pump fails, the furnace
quits. 'Oldie' gets a "bellyache". Your Mother, Spouse,
In-Laws,
neighbor calls, while you are 'on the road' - and "
Wants to know " What to
Do !?"
2. There is no such thing as a sterile barn cat.
2a. If you manage to catch
and innoculate, spay/neater 'a stray', something "
will
'happen' to it
". Or, it will become a housecat. Guarenteed. ( Same applies to
dogs)
2b. Once you feed a 'stray' it
is yours.
3. No one ever
notices how you ride until you fall off.
3a. You will not 'fall off
', ' be bucked off ', 'unseated'.... unless someone is there
watching. If, only they could have seen your
'great skill' (luck) in riding Ole
Killers'
bucks / shys
/ "flights of fancy",
"airs above ground" before. 4. The least useful
horse in your barn will eat the most, require shoes
every four weeks and will
need the vet at least once a month.
4a. Sell him, forget
it !! , you can not even give him away.!! ( See above 3a, 5,
6, and
.
21 ) 5. A horse's misbehavior will be in direct proportion
to the number of people who
are watching. Especially, if the horse is for sell.!
6. Tack you hate never wears out; blankets you hate cannot be
destroyed; horses you hate
cannot be sold and will outlive you.
6a. Mice and mold will
only attack useful, and liked articles.
6b. Horses you never ride, are never lame, or
sick. 7. Clipper blades will become dull only when
the horse is half-finished. Clipper
motors will quit only when you have the horse's head left to trim.
8. If you're wondering if you left the water on in the barn, you
did. If you're wondering if you
latched the pasture gate, you didn't. 9. One horse isn't
enough; two is too many. 10. If you approach within 50 feet of the barn in
your "street clothes," you will get
dirty. (You do not own any white clothing.) 11. You can't push a horse
on a longe line. 12. If a horse is advertised "under $5,000," you can bet he
isn't $2,500. 13. The number of horses you own increases according to the
number of stalls in your barn.( plus
one)
13
a. The number of horses you have increases by X 2 - 3, to the
amount of acreage that
you
need to support them on.
14. An uncomplicated horse can be
ruined with enough schooling. 15. You can't run a barn without baling twine.(
and Duct tape) 16. Hoof picks migrate.
16 a. If you thought you put "it" there, you did; and "it"
migrated, applies to everything in the
barn, including horses.
17. Wind velocity increases in direct
proportion to how well your hat fits. And / Or which
direction you need to throw that shovel / pitchfork full of...... 18. There
is no such thing as the "right feed."
18 a. If
you get the "Right Feed / Hay" - you can bet your horse that needs it most, will
not
eat it, even if
nothing else available.And he will probably prefer the fence. 19. If
you fall off, you will land on the site of your most recent injury.
19a This is after you have
exhausted all your 'sick leave' at work ( for the same
injury),
and try explaining that
to the Boss.
20. You
can not own enough feed tubs / water backets. Blankets, towels,
wraps.
21.
The horse you want to keep in, or the one you want to keep out - can always open
the
stall door.
No
matter what kind of latch you use.
21a. The
one you want to keep in, is let out by the other above.
21b. You have exhausted all means to keep that horse from
opening all gates, stall and feed
doors, - you give him a
stall, and he is happy, but "a stall pig".
21c. The horse that is 'left out', is "stall trained" and only
would mess a certain spot. 22. If
you're winning, quit. ( FYI - you can't win. It is only an
illusion.)