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RE: [RC] what horse ads really mean - Eric Drewoh god my ribs are hurting and my eyes are watering from laughing so hard Thanks I needed this --- Eric Drew --- [Original Message] From: Christina McCarthy <christina_mccarthy@xxxxxxxxxxx> To: <ridecamp@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> Date: 9/10/05 7:56:57 PM Subject: [RC] what horse ads really mean Big Trot: can't canter within a 2 mile straightaway Nicely Started: we can lounge him, but we don't have enough insurance to ride him yet Top Show Horse: won a reserve championship 5 years ago at a show with unusual low entries due to a hurricane Home Bred: knows nothing except being raised on the front porch Recently Vetted: someone else found something badly wrong with the horse Big Boned: good thing horse has mane & tail or he would be mistaken for a cow Doing Courses: when tranqualized to the eyeballs & lunged 6 hrs straight before hand Well Mannered: hasn't stepped on, bitten, or kicked anyone for a week Professionally Trained: hasn't stepped, bitten, or kicked anyone for a month Should Mature 16 hands: currently 13h, dam is 14.3hh, sire is 15hh, every horse in pedigree back 18 generations is under 15h but this horse will definitely defy his DNA To Good Home Only: not really for sale unless you can 1) pay twice what he is worth, 2) allow current owner to tuck in beddy - bye every night, 3) are willing to sign a 10 page legal document Bold: runaway Athletic: He's a runaway, but he looks good doing it Needs intermediate Rider: runaway Needs Experienced Rider: "dead" runaway Dead Quiet: just dead Started O/F: Started overfeeding because we can't ride No Vices: especially when he wears his muzzle Light Cribber: we can't afford to build any more barns & fences for the buzz saw No Time For Him: he's lucky to be fed Excellent Disposition: never been out of his stall Clips, hauls, and Loads: Clippity, clippity is the sound his hooves make when he hauls a$$ across the parking lot when you try to load him Great Halter Prospect: Bred for beauty, not for brains --------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------- Selling due to divorce: My spouse certaintly couldn't stand him... Bomb Proof: So dumb you could set off a bomb under his tail and he wouldn't blink. Good Mother: She's too dumb to do anything else. He Can Do It All: bite, kick, buck, rear... Flasy: nice looking... forget about him being rideable Stunning: you'll be stunned at his kicking power Very Brave: even a whip can't force him back Slight Case Of Navicular: better buy him before he's too lame to walk Proven Sire: The mare we bred him to had a baby Lots of Potential: Under the right circumstances, you migh be able to ride him Great Bloodlines: He can't do anything, but that's okay becuase some horse 20 generations back did something Already Broke: two fences, one arm, six buckets Got Cow Sense: he'll attack any cattle within a 5-mile radius Unregistered: probably stolen Protective Mother: don't even think about going near the foal Lady's Horse: Perfectly sweet with women, but will kill men Good Disposition: The only good thing about him Selling Due to Retirement: he's making us old Started Good: we quit while we were ahead Started: we quit while we were still alive Loud Color: we spray painted him bright red Really Broke: literally Slight Nervouse Habit: he shakes and has muscles ticks anytime anyone asks him to think Great Stud: breeding is the only thing he's good at Anyone Can Ride: as long as they have the right protective gear, they will survive Smooth: you won't notice he's bucking until you're on the ground! Event Prospect: Big, Fast Horse Dressage Prospect: Big, Slow Horse Hack Prospect: Pretty Color Sporting Prospect: Short, Fast Horse Camp Prospect: Fast Horse which can turn Endurance Prospect: Fast Horse which will turn sometimes Flashy: White Socks Attractive: Bay 15.2hh: 14.3hh 16.2hh: 15.3hh To Loving Home Only: Expensive To Show Home Only: Very Expensive Needs Experienced Rider: Potentially Lethal Elegant: Thin In Good Condition: Foundered Free Moving: Bolts Quiet: Lame in Both Front Legs Dead Quiet: Lame in All Four Legs Good in Traffic (Bombproof): Lame all Round, Deaf and Blind Loves Children: Kicks and Bites Pony Type: Small and Hairy Arab Type:Looks startled TB Type: Looks Terrified Quarter Horse Type: Chunky Halter Horse Type: Fat Warmblood Type: Big and Hairy Draught Type: Big and Exceedingly Hairy Easy to Catch: Very Old Must Sell: Wife has left home and taking kids All Offers Considered: I am in Traction for 6 months Good Jumper prospect: Looks great jumping over the pasture fence, if you can ever catch'im, you might just have yourself a great jumper! =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Ridecamp is a service of Endurance Net, http://www.endurance.net. 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