[RC] 10 Reasons why an old fart should not ride a green horse - Howard Bramhall
1) Old bones don't heal as quickly as they used to.
2) You say right, he says left, you say tomaaattoooo, he says, "feed
me and then we'll talk."
3) Right after a heavy downpour, when the weather is a bit cooler
(hey, we're hard up down here in the summertime), you hit the trail and discover
your new horse doesn't like water or anything that appears wet.
He'll come to a complete stop, no matter what gait you are in when he
spots the deep, dark, murky, bottomless mud pit which contains, at the
most, 3 inches of water. This is a great time to practice that Flying
Bramhall forward dismount that would qualify you for employment in any
Three Ring circus.
4) Any bug near the belly will be dealt with by a swift kick from a
rear leg which is a lot of fun when he does this while you are scraping off
some belly sweat. Always wear your helmet, even when dismounted.
5) Purchasing a new saddle with your Master Card is great.
Using it to pay the hospital for keeping you alive while training your green
horse: Priceless!
6) Sheath cleaning, a concept your new buddy doesn't seem to fully
comprehend, begs the question, "Is this operation really necessary?"
7) You've come to realize why you got such a great deal from the
previous owner on this horse.
8) You want to sell him but he's so darn beautiful and loving when
you're not riding him, it's just not possible. You figure you've lived a
good life and if this is how it will end, the odds are you will go out with a
smile on your face.
9) Your farrier no longer returns your phone calls, so, you assume
the role and end up, once again, in the hospital only to Discover your Master
Card limit has been surpassed from your last visit and they don't take
American Express.
10) When you report to your Shrink for the next appointment, wrapped
in bandages, using crutches to migrate from the waiting room to the "couch",
wearing a 3 inch stitched up (55) slash on your left cheek, she decides the
topic of discussion this morning will be "Are horses really worth dying
for?"
