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Re: [RC] Horses and Husbands - Charles

I've read all the answers and I thought I'd add what worked for me.

First everyone else has it right.  The compliments, the need, the technical
problems, etc. all were part of it.  In my case I don't think it was
planned, it just worked out this way.  It started before we married.

I had never owned a horse, and my riding experience was and still is, pretty
non-existent.  I'd gone with my wife to several feedings and so I didn't
feel uncomfortable, but I wasn't comfortable either.  I ended up grooming
and feeding her horses while she was crewing at the Kentucky Rolex ***.  I
spent a week going out each day bringing the horses in, feeding them their
premixed meals, and currying hair off a horse that was fuzzier than anything
I'd ever seen.  I found the horses patient and nice.

After a while I noticed that people were having fun riding, and I wanted to
try it myself.  Unfortunately, I'm pretty heavy, and most people look at me,
look at their horse and say "I'd rather you didn't ride my horse".  I ended
up buying "Finders Keepers" a 17.2 Percheron Mare.  I posted a picture of
her in the photo album.  I still feel sad when I ride another horse.

It didn't hurt that Susan found me especially attractive (though not till
after a shower) after we got home from the barn.

Somehow we've ended up with 6 horses.  She goes around telling folks
"there's nothing worse than a convert".

Near as I can tell, the secret to men is that we are easy.  I think you
should keep certain principles in mind:
1) We love to be needed, give us a problem we want to fix it.
2) We love to be complimented but we don't take correction or criticism
well.
3) We like getting laid and will do almost anything if it increases our
chances.
4) We like to look at pretty women, and I have to admit, there is something
about Spandex and riding tights that are pretty nice.
5) We like activities that make us feel big, strong and "manly".  Horseback
riding does that.
6) We hate being told what to do.
7) Don't forget #3.

If it helps, you might want to go to a fair or a few events.  The fair is
nice because you get to see that Riding isn't just a women's sport.  You
also get to see people doing things, and on top of that, there is all the
equipment to review and judge.  Riding events are nice in that you can see
things in action.

Finally, the one thing that surprised me most about crewing was just how
much partying goes on at the ride camp.  I was stunned by how much energy
people had at the end of day despite either crewing or riding.  You might
want to have Husband come for that first.

Charles

----- Original Message -----
From: "Tamara Taylor" <tam319@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
To: "Ridecamp" <ridecamp@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Sent: Friday, March 28, 2003 10:41 PM
Subject: [RC] Horses and Husbands


Hello list,

My husband and I were recently married (October) and we have been together
for
4 years. Life is grand. He's my best friend in the world and we have a lot
of
fun together. The only thing is that he is as non-horsey as they come! I
love
riding and spending hours at the barn. My husband does not! There are
several
other couples at the barn where I board and they both come out and spend
time
at the barn together even if one of them is non-horsey and is just
learning to
ride. I am looking forward to travelling to rides and shows this summer
but I
don't think he will enjoy it much. I hate to drag him along if he's not
going
to love it too.

He is supportive of my riding. He encourages me to go spend time with my
horses
because he knows it makes me happy. He doesn't gripe about all the
financial
costs. He even let my buy a new foal - my dream horse - last month despite
our
very meager budget. The foal has arrived but he hasn't even been out to
the
barn to see it yet. We own several dogs as well (my babies) and live in
the
city. He knows that I don't like to leave them crated for long periods of
time
so he works his schedule so that he can be home exercising the dogs while
I
ride. He is very accomodating.

Now I realize that it is important to have your separate things to do in a
relationship. But horses are a huge part of my life and I would like him
to be
a part of that aspect of my life. I will have a great ride and be beaming
or
just enjoying the company of a warm muzzle but I still feel like something
is
missing because I can't share it with him. If I ask he will come to the
barn
with me but I can tell how much it bores him so I don't bother asking
anymore.

Do any of you ever feel this way? What do you do to deal with it?

Thanks,

Tam



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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Ridecamp is a service of Endurance Net, http://www.endurance.net.
Information, Policy, Disclaimer: http://www.endurance.net/Ridecamp
Subscribe/Unsubscribe http://www.endurance.net/ridecamp/logon.asp

Ride Long and Ride Safe!!

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