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Re: RC: Re: LONG!! What "Natural" Horsemanship is to me...



Hi Sue,

<Heh!heh!heh!> You can quote me anytime.... and yes, these techniques
work equally well for human interactions. I work as a project & program
manager, and am very successful. I matrix manage, which means I have to
get people who don't report to me, to work for me. These techniques work
***extremely** well! 

The folks I worked with enjoy working with me because they know where I
stand and what to expect out of me. I'm always coaching folks on
techniques for interaction too, and they all know that I'm "colt
breaking again". These are multi-cultural groups of s/w engineers,
testers.

Figure out what you want, and proceed to get it. Communicate,
facilitate, follow through.

> >... It has to be strong enough
> >to demand respect, but has to accommodate the horses need to be accepted
> >by a leader. .... it all amounts to respect and appreciation.

If you don't demand respect, you get what you deserve, with horses and
with people. I had a very unpleasant reminder of this recently, when I
allowed myself to become oblivious to a close friends escalating abuse
of my trust. "I cared", didn't take care of my own best interests, and
it totally destroyed the relationship. I wish I never had to deal with
this person again! I have to accept the blame, because I enabled it to
happen. 

With young children and animals, we need to accept that it isn't
personal when they are opportunistic. With adults in a work situation?
I'm much the same way... it's my fault, I need to work proactively to
manage outcomes. 

In personal relationships, when I'm pushed beyond what any fair person
would push me? I hold a hell of a grudge - that person is accountable.
Because I have that capacity, I'm careful to check my grudges at the
door to the office or the barn!

When we let people, dogs, horses and kids get away with B.S., they
become obnoxious. And then, who wants to deal with them? Only the
professionals and training hobbyists.

> >... swift and stern discipline... if you are strong enough to
> >lead justly, they're safe following you!
....
> >If you use the right timing and are
> >consistent, forceful corrections seldom necessary.
....
> >Set the horse up for success, and give them freedom to make a the
> >choice, because if you don't let them be wrong, you can't train them to
> >make the right choices without constant guidance.

Sue, I need to print some of this stuff out and post it on my own
bathroom mirror! It's very easy to forget these interaction essentials. 

  -- Linda

-- 


  Linda Cowles       
  Lion Oaks Ranch 
  Gilroy CA



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