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[RC] Rude Rider Countermeasures - Bruce Weary DC

Mind you, I'm simply the reporter here, I'm NOT advising anyone to duplicate the following actions that have worked in the past to deter rude, whiny, complaining riders:
1) Super Glue applied secretly to the waist band of the rude rider's undies leads to some interesting gyrations in the porta-pottie at the vet check. If they manage to escape their panties in time, many will take their horse and go straight home out of sheer embarrassment. If they don't, many will take their horse and go straight home out of sheer embarrassment. Not to mention the rash.
2) Telling them your favorite movie was "Deliverance" and asking them if they'd like to go for a walk in the woods is always a good icebreaker.
3) It's very difficult to complete an endurance ride without a cinch and stirrups. I'm just sayin'.
4) A little Epsom salts in their cowboy coffee makes for a real rodeo--they can't stay off the toilet for more than 8 seconds.
5) Remind them you'll be happy to shut them up and you have NO problem going back to prison.
6) Tie a red ribbon to your own belt. Kick them as they walk by, shrug and point to the ribbon.
7) Send a Jehovah's Witness to their door at dawn. That oughta slow 'em down a bit.
8) Gather some poison oak. Mince the leaves and wipe the juice on the inside of their helmet. I'm told this is more effective at hot rides, with a little sweat mixed in.
9) Hang a sign on their camper door that says "Please knock loudly at 2:00 am to receive a free prize."
I can't think of a tenth one right now, but it will probably come to me later.
Good Night and God Bless Dr Q


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