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Please Reply to: Howard Bramhall howard9732@xxxxxxx or ridecamp@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
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NOTE:  I wrote this one the Thanksgiving after 9/11/2001.  A weird time; time 
for a story written by a weird guy.  After all the recent posts about LD's and 
such, I'm hoping some of ya might want a laugh or two in preparation for 
another Holiday season.  Hey, it could be worse.  Consider having me over for 
the holidays; this thought may help one be grateful for what they do have.


I am really hoping someone will post about JD's ride this coming Saturday, held 
every Thanksgiving week-end out there in South Carolina.  He's attempting to 
have part of it, this year, first time for him, as an FEI ride.  Now, knowing 
JD a little, I find this notion entirely hilarious.  When I asked him about it 
last month, he said, "I'm not going to give them any kind of priority, 
whatsoever.  We'll just see how it turns out."  My guess is it's going to be a 
hoot.  And this one should turn out quite differently than the ole Biltmore FEI 
ride last spring that was so controversial.

In honor of Thanksgiving, I'd like to share a JD story with ya'll.  It's kind 
of funny; at least I thought it was. I'm sure I'll find out if you agree with 
me, or not, after I post this one. Most of this one is TRUE.

Seems like this fellow named Blake had locked his keys inside his Motor home.  
He was purty well lit, and this was the night before an endurance ride.  JD, 
Blake, and a real character named Ashley (male) were trying to break into 
Blake's motor home, without causing too much damage.  They finagled the lock 
with a screw driver Ashley had come up with to no avail.  Finally, they decided 
to move to the bathroom window, which Blake kinda thought they could pry open 
with the screw driver.

I happened to be trying to sleep in my tent, parked right next to Blake, with 
Ashley on the other side.  I was at this particular ride, alone, so I knew this 
would be one of the more livelier places to set up camp.  And these good ole 
boys did not disappoint me.  They had me laughing so hard, in my tent, that I 
had to cover my mouth, cause I didn't want them to know I was listening.  I 
wish I could remember the exact words that had me laughing, some of it had to 
do with NASCAR, some of it just funny stuff that men who really like and know 
each other say to one another.  And, since I drinks a bit myself, I knew all 
three of them were purty well gone and was wondering just how they were going 
to complete a ride in the morning.

Well, they pried open the window, but then they realized none of them were 
small enough to squeeze thru.  And they did try, which had me up and peeking 
out my little screened opening from inside my tent.  Watching them try and lift 
Blake up to a window that was at least 5 feet from the ground, Blake being the 
smallest man out of the three, was just something you don't see every day.  
After about ten minutes, they gave up trying to squeeze Blake, a short but kind 
of roundly shaped man, thru the 18 inch opening.

JD comes up with the idea that he'll go and find a junior.  Now, if Jennifer 
(my daughter) was with me, I sure would offer her services, but she wasn't.  
So, I just sat there and waited to see what was going to come next.  I hit the 
button, to illuminate my watch, and it told me it was 15 minutes past midnight. 
Knock, Knock, JD calling.  "Howdy Ma'am, sorry to bother you so late at night. 
I was just wondering if you got any juniors in here?"

Well, as Ashley and Blake are waiting, they start passing around a bottle of 
something to keep warm.  Blake says, "I just gotta get to bed.  Where am I 
gonna sleep?"  The whining sound of his voice just cracked me up and I almost 
offered to share my king size air mattress with him.  Almost, but I kept quiet. 
This was just too much fun for me.

Ashley has this really cool Southern voice, the kind I love listening to and 
love to emulate (I do a poor job at it).  He says, "Sure is taking JD a long 
time.  What time is it?"  I suppress my chuckle and find it difficult not to 
blurt out, "It's like way past midnight and this is more entertaining than 
Letterman."

JD finally returns, empty handed.  He said he knocked on a couple of trailers, 
but nobody answered, or the ones who did weren't the right size and not in a 
very helpful kind of mood.  Blake whines again. "Where am I gonna sleep tonite?"

The men start talking again, thinking of whose trailer they're gonna knock on 
next.  Evidently, JD is the only one brave enough for this job.  Ashley says, 
"I'm not gonna wake her up; no way, no how."  JD finally thinks of someone.  I 
won't mention this woman's name, but I did know her and knew she, if anyone, 
would be more likely than most to help out ole Blake.  Keep in mind this was a 
semi-crowded ride, like 170 or so total.

The men are waiting again for JD.  Kind of reminded me of that play "Waiting 
for Godot," where you start wondering if he's ever going to show up.  Ashley 
decided to go back to his trailer, for something.  My guess was it might be 
another bottle to keep warm.  He returns, shares it with his buddy Blake, and 
then JD comes with, let's just call her, Miss Helpful.  Stick with me now, this 
is where it gets good.

TO BE CONTINUED







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