Re: neck sweats

["Susan Garlinghouse" <suendavid@worldnet.att.net>]

> I was wondering if anyone can help me .Im new at endurance and Im also
> showing one of my horses, she is two young for endurance yet, only 3 , I
have
> been told that her neck is to thick and I need to sweat it. I bought a
neck
> sweat.  Are there any other ways to do this?
>


Yes, you can use a neck sweat to thin her neck down, here's how you do it
properly.

1)  Buy a good neck sweat and rub it all over with a mixture of bacon
grease, horse poop and any available roadkill you can find.  If it makes
your eyes water to be downwind, you have it nicely pre-conditioned.

2)  By now, there should be forty or fifty stray dogs yelping at your feet.
Throw the smelly necksweat into their midst and climb up a nearby tree to
get out of the ensuing riot.

3)  At some point, one dog will get a good hold of the sweat and disappear
with it into the nearest wilderness, with the entire pack in pursuit, to
bury it somewhere.

4)  Saddle up your horse and spend the next two years riding/ponying 20-30
miles a week at a walk, trot and canter looking for the lost neck sweat.
You'll find the fat neck will have slimmed down nicely and been mysteriously
replaced with muscle.

5) If by chance you ever happen to come across the Roadkill Necksweat from
Hell, look it over closely, convince yourself it wasnt yours and keep
riding, looking for the one that *is* yours.

6)  Congratulate yourself on having been environmentally friendly by using a
felt necksweat that will disintegrate into mulch over the next few rainy
seasons, making it that much more challenging to find as you ride.  Also use
this time to convince yourself how silly halter classes are and how wise you
were to Walk Into the Light aka endurance. :-)))))

Good luck and have fun!

Susan G

(In all seriousness, when I was showing horses in halter, you have to use a
full neck sweat and exercise the hell out of them to dehydrate the fat
cover, which promptly comes back as soon they take a drink, anyway.  It's
primary function seems to be in making horses miserable.)



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