Material Safety Data Sheet (Humor)

[Lucie Hancock <lbhbhnck@ftc-i.net>]

This is "Horsey Humor" though not exactly endurance related.
I hope you all enjoy it.
Lucie

** MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET **
COMMON NAME: Horse
SCIENTIFIC NAME: Equus
SYNONYMS: pony, cowpony, broomtail, nag, pea brain

Physical Properties:
* WEIGHT: 200-2000 lbs. Weight concentrates by a factor of four when
stepping on one foot (usually the handlers')
* VISCOSITY: Depends on variety; some are very thick.
* BOILING POINT: Depends on variety, time of year, time of day, heat
cycle
of mares, and experience and preparation of the handler
* FREEZING POINT: Near any gate, or at the sight of any unfamiliar
object.
* REACTIVITY: Highly reactive to first contact with water, shampoo, fly
masks, fly spray, scissors, blankets, electric clippers, and ropes.
Reactivity lessens after repeated exposure. Has a strong affinity for
all
vegetative matter, particularly untreated or uncovered wood. Develops a
strong attachment to others of its kind which reduces the freezing point
to
line-of-sight.

Hazards:
* CONDITIONS to avoid:  Sudden noises, sudden movements, slippery
ground,
inexperienced handlers.
* HAZARDOUS decomposition products:  Volatile and noxious gasses are
emitted
whenever the tail is combed, braided, washed, or touched. Solid wastes
decompose and are combustible if allowed to accumulate.
* MEDICAL Symptoms/Exposure:  Highly addictive. One is never enough.
Numbers
and associated paraphernalia expand to meet the amount of funds
available,
including begged and borrowed amounts.
* SIGNS/Symptoms of Overexposure: Houses become extended tack rooms,
yards
turned into corrals and horse trailer parking lots, loss of interest in
non-horseman relationships.
* SYMPTOM of acute poisoning: Travelling long distances at great expense
to
show or sample the product.
* HAZARDS associated with misuse: Weight can be distributed improperly
to
the handler and may result in serious injury.
* SUDDEN freezing and/or boiling can result in violent decomposition of
the
horse/rider relationship with painful impact of the rider on the ground
or
other nearby objects.

Ron & Deb Gratton
R & D Ranch
Elgin, SC