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Subject: Fwd: Horse Person
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1998 08:41:45 EST
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It's a long one--but you will recognize some familiar faces.  enjoy!

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	<>, kenneth e. herbert
<>,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, JL Whitlock <>,
Subject: Fwd: Horse Person
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1998 20:22:51 EST
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Subject: Fwd: Horse Person
Date: Fri, 11 Dec 1998 13:14:33 EST
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Subject: Horse Person
Date: Fri, 11 Dec 1998 12:30:44 EST
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You know you're a horse person when....

When you consider a pristine golf course as a waste of good pasture

. . . When, after arriving at the barn and finding the indoor being
you go ahead and ride in it anyway.  What's a little indoor "rain"?

When your horse gets shoes more often than you.

You know you're a horse person when your husband does something nice for

you and you say "good boy" and pat him on the neck.

You also know your a horse person when your trying to get by a
co-worker in a restricted space and instead of saying "excuse me"
to him/her, you cluck at them instead.  :)

You patch your mud boots with duct tape and slog through knee deep mud
get hay to your horse, who has commandered the ONLY dry spot for miles.

You get up at 5am every morning while you're in college, drive 10 miles
the barn, feed, muck stalls, ride, and rush back to your 10am class
smelling like a barn without complaining.

No one wants to ride in your car because they'll get sweet feed and hay
in their socks and purses...that's ok because then you'd have to
rearrange all the tack to make room for them, anyway!

You are totally grossed out by human hair in the sink or tub, but don't
mind horse hair in your washer, on your clothes, in your food...

You know you are a horse AND a dog person when you don't mind throwing
frozen manure balls for the barn dog to fetch!

So, you know you're a HORSE PERSON WHEN you look at all the piles
of laundry sitting next to your Washing machine and most of them
are breeches, horse blankets, saddle pads, etc... plus you don't
even care about the horsey hair residue that will be left in the

You know you're a horse person when:
Your secretary does a "hay check" on your suit each morning and
your first stop in the office is the ladies room to remove the
shavings from your shoes.

Your non-horsy friend gives you a funny look after glancing
into the back seat of your car, and you realize he's noticed
your whips and spurs.

You say "whoa" to the dog.

Your mother, who has no grandchildren, gets cards addressed
to Grandma, signed by the horses and the dog.

Your husband brings the new saddle to bed so he can work on it while
watching TV.

You see the vet more than you see your child's pediatrician.

You clean a horse's sheath and don't hurl.

You give directions to your house and say, "It has a big blue horse
trailer in
the front yard."

Someone says, "Does anyone have a screwdriver?" and you hand them a

The doctor says the bump on your finger is an inflamed tendon sheath,
and you tell him, "Oh, you mean a windpuff."

The real estate agent asks what kind of house you are looking for, and
you say, "More than six acres."

You know you're a horse person when for once you have extra money to buy

yourself something, and you get the check out counter and
decide that you don't really need that shirt anyway.  That $25 could be
entry fee!

I was gonna say "the horses get fed first." but around my house it's
"the horses are the only ones that get fed by me.  Kids fend for
themselves." save the hoof shavings for the dog. poke your honey in the ribs, saying, "over", in the kitchen. clean your tack after *every* ride but never ever ever wash the
car. have the worming, lesson and farrier schedules in your head, but
frequently miss the kid's piano lessons, girl scouts, or changing the
in the car. yell at the kids, and the horse's name pops out.

...on rainy days, you organize the tack room, not the house.

...your tax refund is targetted to a new saddle, not the family
vacation. are unreasonably pleased to get a horse item, ANY horse item, as
gift.  "They really cared!!!" actually like all horse items, any horse items, regardless of

...books and movies are ruined for you if horsemanship references are
incorrect. actually get to a point where flies don't bother you so much.

Your horse's mane and tail get better care than yours, and it shows.

Your horse gets more compliments for grooming than you do.

You kiss your horse more often than your husband or boyfriend, and
enjoy it more.

You've considered moving into the barn, since it is cleaner than
the house.

Your horse seems the right choice when you need to talk something
out with someone.

You find yourself analyzing leg and foot conformation on your
friends, and thinking how corrective shoeing could improve
their way of going.

You jump out of bed at 5:00 a.m. on Sunday to feed before an
early ride, but barely hear the 5:00 a.m. alarm on Monday morning.

Your husband hangs around the barn hoping to get a massage when
you've finished on your horse.

... you often sneak furtively into laundramats and pretend that
you really didn't just put that stinky, filthy horse blanket
into the comforter-sized machine.

You know you're a horse person when ALL of your pockets have hay in

You know.....when you have a small knife on your key chain (and you're
a woman)

When you have more pictures of your horses in your office than you have
of your family.

When you leave work feeling stiff, tense, with a stomach- or headache,
and all those feelings disappear the minute you go through the first
gate to the ranch.

You can find your boots in the dark by the aroma.

You drive up in the yard, get out of the car and inhale the perfume
of the manure pile.

You talk to the horses like they were kids.

All your stock has 4 legs.

The only picture of you that your wife(husband, SO, whatever) has of
you shows you on your horse.

You hate posing for pictures unless you're on your horse.

You chirp to, cluck to or spur your truck/car.

You say whoa to your truck/car.

Most of your social life is with other horse folk.

You find a human hair in your food and it makes you gag, but horse hair
goes down fine.....

You're buying clothes, and you choose them on the basis of whether you
can wash horse slobber/manure out of them.

You live with electric fencing tape around the lawn, so the horses can
mow it for you.

You've got a perpetually skinned place on your knuckles or the heel of
your hand, from when the hoof rasp/pick slips....

Your breezeway/mud room has hay & crud all over the floor, a saddle on a

rack along the wall, misc. tack hanging from the chairs, muddy boots &
gloves, etc. lying about. Someone's coming to visit. You don't care.

You aren't interested in watching the news, but have to, in order to
the weather, so you know if the barn needs to be left open for the

Suppertime is generally at 8PM, and everyone has been home since before

You trade your nice, nearly-new Suburban for a 1-ton 4x4 pickup, so you
can haul hay & straw for the critters. (And have that 454 engine for
pulling the trailer up those looooong hills.)

- you'd rather stay up with a friend's sick horse than babysit her kids.

- you will babysit a friend's kids while she stays up with a sick horse,

  even though you HATE babysitting.

- you go on a diet for your horse's sake, but not your SO's.

- you giggle when the horse you're driving farts in your face.

... When your bicycle is mostly used as a bridle and saddle rack.

You know you're a horse person when....
.. you get knocked down and split you lip wide open on the
horses halter because you were doing something yu KNOW you
shouldn't have been doing, and with blood running down your
face your first concern is making sure the horse is alright,
calmed down, and put in his stall. Then you go to the
hospital for stitches.

  You get your income tax refund and the first thing you do is head
  for the tack shop.

  You go on a diet, not to be more attractive, but to be a better rider.

  Everytime you go to the stable, it takes 3 hours and you can't imagine

  where the time went.

when your horse has its mane pulled more often than you get a
hair cut.

  ...You live hand to mouth and somehow come up with the $800 for
emergency vet bills.

  ...your house is "decorated" with bits, saddles, bridles, halters,
blanket racks, trunks, trophies and ribbons. save every horse magazine you have ever bought.

  ...your horse gets vitamins and supplements everyday and you can't
remember to take vitamins yourself. feel tired all day at work and then go to the barn and ride 3

You longe your dog and she listens to you.

Your baby shower gifts include a fleece seat saver.

You do stalls the morning before your labor is to be induced.

When the doctor tells you that they have to do a c-section your
first question (much to your spouses horror) is how long will it be
until I can ride?(and you are devastated  when he says 6 weeks)

You know there's more horse than computer to you when you will buy
buy new (breeches, boots, tack) rather than that 28.8k baud modem.




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