More Stuff

Susan F. Evans (suendavid@worldnet.att.net)
Tue, 05 Nov 1996 12:31:11 -0800

Hi guys,

Here's your justification for getting more STUFF---
Convince yourself (or spouse, kids, credit card companies or the
collection agencies) that to really make use of all this endurance
stuff, and to really Dedicate Myself to This Sport On Which
I Have Spent All This Money, you now need to really develop
associated skills for you and your horse...and for that, you
need:
1) A dressage saddle because your dressage instructor can only
sputter hysterically in German when you appear in the lesson arena with
a saddle decked out in neoprene, silver conchos, snakeskin
and/or evidence of your last argument with a pine tree.

2) Riding shirt, tights and footwear that cannot not be
pinpointed by Search and Rescue from 10,000 feet altitude.

3) Private lessons with Donna Snyder-Smith, weekly at least,
plus transportation to and fro, and that's just too bad that
you and your horse live in Vermont, we're trying to
Improve Ourselves here.

4) A personal trainer to herd you through your session at the gym.
Fabio will do nicely.

5) A Peugeot, Saab, Volvo or BMW, preferably with something German
written on them somewhere, because everyone faints in delicate and
well-bred horror when you come roaring and farting into the lesson barn
parking lot in a 20-year-old pickup with bales of hay in the bed,
dogs and/or baby goats hanging out every window, a crate of chickens
tied to the roof and a bumper sticker that says I USED TO HAVE MONEY,
NOW I HAVE HORSES.

Get the picture? There's is no such thing as enough STUFF---you just
need to expand your horizons (and your tack room):->

P.S. I asked my Significant Other if there's a cure for this, and he said
he has a deer rifle that should take care of it. Of course, I'd just
gotten back from the tack store, so maybe my timing could have been better...