The part about the cost of hauling a second raffle horse home is not really an issue. I was thrilled she won. The horse did not cause any trouble or damage to the trailer. Someone had mentioned in a private post that a per horse fee should be charged, but how was this person to know she would be (I) hauling an extra horse home.
----- Original Message -----
From: Deanna German
Sent: Friday, November 01, 2002 12:01 PM
Subject: Re: [RC] [RC] Sharing expenses to rides
OK, this got wierd in a hurry, didn't it?
I have no idea what lead these two down this sad road, but as a valid RC
topic, I can elaborate on my previous post of my own successful (I think!
Never assume!) hitching experiences and offer some ideas for future hitchers
No matter who does the asking and who does the offering, I felt it was my
obigation as the hitcher to create a win-win situation. As the hitcher, I
imagined myself at the bottom of a big hole of generosity which it was my
responsibility to dig myself out of. Even if the ride was offered, by
accepting I accepted my hitcher's obligation.
It's best if the "who pays what" is settled before the trailer leaves the
driveway. If I was stuck in a situation where I thought that the person
doing the trailering wasn't taking enough from me (gee, that pretty much
covers every ride I ever hitched!), I try to make it up. With my barn owner,
I do little extras around the barn or kick in with little doo dads that make
life around the barn easier. With others who have let me hitch, I try to
find ways to make it up to them. I've found that people who won't take cash
will take gifts or time.
This cycle can get pretty hysterical with both parties trying to outdo each
other in what they're giving or doing! I hope that's where I'm at with all 3
hitchees! And now I'm in the spot where I think a hitcher gave me too much
$$. So the cycle begins anew.
I can relate to the "wanting things done one way" mode of being. I like my
stuff a particular way. I'm generous with my stuff, and my horse, but I
watch like a hawk. If *I* borrow something (and I don't do so without
asking), I put it back in as good as or better condition than it was before
I used it. I expect the same from others. A fellow boarder borrowed my horse
for a short ride this summer and, because things didn't come back the way
she found them (esp. the horse!), no more borrowing those things. Some
people just aren't detail oriented enough to satisfy me. OTOH, I recently
let someone borrow my horse and tack for a 15 mile ride. Everything came
back the same or better than it left. (Especially the horse!) Yeah, I like
people like that!
Here's to creating win-win situations!
Well I guess there are two sides to every story. I DID in fact pay for 1/2
the gas or OFFERED 1/2 gas (which was declined) EVERYWHERE we went. I have
receipts of it to the Alpine ride which I paid in debit card. I NEVER asked
for these rides--they were ALWAYS offered. I have yet to see a cell phone
bill in which I made these calls--which I would be happy to pay for.....
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