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Re: Re:RC: Rain in the NW

If you are going to build an Ark, you better start SOON!
It now takes longer than 40 days:


Noah And Today's Ark
The Lord spoke to Noah and said, "Noah, in six months I am going to
make it rain until the whole world is covered with water and all the
evil things are destroyed. But, I want to save a few good people and
two of every living thing on the planet. I am ordering you to build
an ark." And, in a flash of lightning, he delivered the specifications
for the ark.

"OK," Noah said, trembling with fear and fumbling with the
blueprints, "I'm your man."

"Six months and it starts to rain," thundered the Lord. "You better
have my ark completed or learn to swim for a long, long time!"

Six months passed, the sky began to cloud up, and the rain began to
fall in torrents. The Lord looked down and saw Noah sitting in his
yard, weeping, and there was no ark.

"Noah!" shouted the Lord, "where is My ark?" A lightning bolt crashed
into the ground right beside Noah.

"Lord, please forgive me!" begged Noah. "I did my best, but there were
some big problems. First, I had to get a building permit for the ark's
construction, but your plans did not meet their code. So, I had to hire
an engineer to redo the plans, only to get into a long argument with
him about whether to include a fire-sprinkler system."

"My neighbors objected, claiming that I was violating zoning ordinances
by building the ark in my front yard, so I had to get a variance from
the city planning board."

"Then, I had a big problem getting enough wood for the ark, because
there was a ban on cutting trees to save the spotted owl. I tried to
convince the environmentalists and the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service
that I needed the wood to save the owls, but they wouldn't let me
catch them, so no owls."

"Next, I started gathering up the animals but got sued by an animal
rights group that objected to me taking along only two of each kind."

"Just when the suit got dismissed, the EPA notified me that I couldn't
complete the ark without filing an environmental impact statement on
your proposed flood.  They didn't take kindly to the idea that they
had no jurisdiction over the conduct of a Supreme Being."

"Then, the Corps of Engineers wanted a map of the proposed flood plan.
I sent them a globe!"

"Right now, I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Equal
Opportunities Commission over how many minorities I'm supposed to

"The IRS has seized all my assets claiming that I am trying to leave
the country, and I just got a notice from the state that I owe some
kind of use tax. Really, I don't think I can finish the ark in less
than five years."

With that, the sky cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow
arched across the sky.

Noah looked up and smiled. "You mean you are not going to
destroy the world?" he asked hopefully.

"No need," said the Lord, "the government already has."
John and Meshack (Vermont Equestrian Activities)

-----Original Message-----
From: Lynette Helgeson <>
To: <>
Cc: <>
Date: Saturday, March 06, 1999 9:54 AM
Subject: RC: Re:RC: Rain in the NW

> wrote:
>> Hi, Campers,
>>   Lynnette said we here in the Pac Northwest have had 84 days of rain.
>> ma'am, we've had 94 days of rain, and broke the record for total amount
>> some obscene amount, like three times the normal rainfall............
>My exact words were and I quote, "Although I would rather have cold and
>sunshine then 87 or better straight days of rain,
>Please read again, I said "87 days or better" because the last time that
>I heard it was 87 and it was still raining.
>Love the idea of mud created easy boots, though,  using mother nature to
>save money is something that I love to do. I will have to try it. :-)
>Tell you children we see the sun on a regular basis and it can grow on
>you. After a while we grow to really love the sun. although an
>occasional day of clouds and rain is nice to have. But 94 STRAIGHT DAYS!
>You know Noah only had to have 40 straight days to float his ark. Have
>you started to build yours yet? If we had 94 straight days of snow, they
>would have to shut down the state of ND and announce to the world that
>officially ND no longer exists. But then again there are some people in
>the US who don't believe that ND exists now. After all with only two
>families living in the state it is an easy conception to gather. ;-)
>We do have sunshine today but the temperature after being in the 40 and
>50 most of February is down in the 20 today. Not fair.
>>  But "depressing"? Naw. See, my Arabian doesn't realize he's supposed to
>> afraid of water. He does a terrific breast stroke, is green where he used
>> be grey, and I no longer need to have him shod because he grew EasyBoots
>> instead of hooves. At least, that's what his feet look like they're made
>> of...though I can't tell because he's got mud to his knees.
>> If I am wrong about the number of days of rain we've had, i'm gonna be
>> because I want to know where was I when we went seven days without
>> But I must admit, the sun did come out today. We built this huge bonfire,
>> danced around it beating the drums, and sacrificed a goat, until that big
>> glowing ball in the sky went away. The children were terrified, but I
>> scared...I've seen the sun before. I'm glad, though, that the kids got to
>> it. I bet it's something they'll tell their grandchildred about....
>> Michelle (who really didn't sacrifice a goat) and Jordan, who wonders if
>> EVER get to go outside without his blanket....
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