Camping Hints

["robert and carla lawson" <robandcarla@hotmail.com>]

okay here are some great hints for  the campers out there i found them very 
useful


Camping Hints
When using a public campground, a tuba placed on
your
picnic table will keep the campsites on either side
vacant.
Get even with a bear who raided your food bag by
kicking
his favorite stump apart and eating all the ants.
A hot rock placed in your sleeping bag will keep
your
feet warm.  A hot enchilada works almost as well,
but
the cheese sticks between your toes.
The best backpacks are named for national parks or
mountain ranges.  Steer clear of those named for
landfills.
While the Swiss Army Knife has been popular for
years,
  the Swiss Navy Knife has remained largely
unheralded.
Its single blade functions as a tiny canoe paddle.
modern rain suits made of fabrics that "breathe"
enable
campers to stay dry in a downpour.  Rain suits that
sneeze,
  cough, and belch, however, have been proven to add
absolutely nothing to the wilderness experience.

Lint from your navel makes a handy fire starter.
  Warning: Remove lint from navel before applying the
match.
You'll never be lost if you remember that moss
always
  grows on the north side of your compass.
  You can duplicate the warmth of a down-filled
bedroll
  by climbing into a plastic garbage bag with several
geese.
The canoe paddle, a simple device used to propel a
boat,
should never be confused with a gnu paddle, a
similar
device used by Tibetan veterinarians.

When camping, always wear a long-sleeved shirt.  It
gives
  you something to wipe your nose on.

Take this simple test to see if you qualify for
solo camping:
Shine a flashlight into one ear.  If the beam
shines out
the other ear, do not go into the woods alone.

  A two-man pup tent does not include two men or a
pup.

A potato baked in the coals for one hour makes an
excellent
side dish.  A potato baked in the coals for three
hours
makes an excellent hockey puck.
In emergency situations, you can survive in the
wilderness
  by shooting small game with a slingshot made from
the
elastic waistband of your underwear.

The guitar of the noisy teenager at the next
campsite
  makes excellent kindling.

  The sight of a bald eagle has thrilled campers for
  generations. The sight of a bald man, however, does

  absolutely nothing for the eagle.

  It's entirely possible to spend your whole vacation
on
  a winding mountain road behind a large motor home.

Bear bells provide an element of safety for hikers
in
grizzly country.  The tricky part is getting them
on
  the bears.

Therapy is expensive.
Poppin' bubble wrap is cheap.
You choose.  :0)


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