What Horse People Say

[Kenzie_Kelly@spc.com]

     Thought this was cute.  Especially the trail comments.  :)

     Kenzie & Zane
     Birmingham, AL



What Horse People Say

  "This trail is a blast!"
  (Translation: I hope you have good medical insurance!)

  "I think my saddle is slipping!"
  (Translation: Slow down, will ya?)

  "I've decided to wear my sweats today, who cares about 'proper
  riding attire'?"
  (Translation: I've gained 5 pounds.)

  "I've decided to buy a lighter saddle."
  (Translation: I've gained 10 pounds)

  "I'm taking up clog dancing."
  (Translation: I've gained 25 pounds.)

  "Western riders are a bunch of cowboy-hat-wearin', snuff chewing,
  lousy-hang-on-to-the-saddle-horn ridin' snobs."
  (Translation: I'm an English riding snob.)

  "English riders are a bunch of tight-pant-wearin', uptight,
  look-down-their-noses punks."
  (Translation: I'm a Western riding punk.)

  "I'm carbo loading."
  (Translation: Pass the ice cream.)

  "I'm tapering."
  (Translation: I haven't ridden in two months.)

  "If you're a good rider, you don't need to wear a helmet."
  (Translation: I'm so stupid a brain injury wouldn't affect me.)

  "Nobody needs a gaited horse."
  (Translation: I can't afford a gaited horse.)

  "A gaited horse is the only way to go!"
  (Translation: I just dropped three-months salary for a gaited
  horse!)

  "She's a hammer."
  (Translation: She's a better rider than me.)

  "He's a geek."
  (Translation: I'm a better rider than him.)

  "I bonked."
  (Translation: All I took for a 4-hour trail ride was a half-empty
  bottle of month-old orange juice and a moldy twinkie.)

  "If you don't fall off, you're not pushing yourself enough."
  (Translation: I fall off a lot.)



  "I do all my own training."
  (Translation: When I have a bucket full of grain, I can catch my
  horse.)

  "I didn't want to go above my target heart rate."
  (Translation: These days I reach my anaerobic threshold when I
  hit the TV remote.)

  "Thanks for waiting."
  (Translation: Wipe that smug grin off your ugly face.)

  "I'm pretty sure I know where we are now."
  (Translation: We're hopelessly lost.)

  "This section of trail looks do-able."
  (Translation: You first, sucker.)

  "Riding pants look stupid."
  (Translation: I've never ridden English before ... and I've never
  had a saddle sore.)

  "Been riding much?"
  (Translation: Are you a better rider than me?)

  "Not much, you? "
  (Translation: My anaerobic threshold is 250 and my resting pulse
  is 14.)

  "Nah, I've been really busy lately."
  (Translation: My body fat is 2% ... go ahead sucker, challenge
  me, make my day.)

 "Well, let's take it easy today then."
  (Translation: Ready? Set? GO!!)

--------------------------- ONElist Sponsor ----------------------------

Get EXPERT CONTENT at ONElist!
Join PROS&PUNDITS.  For details go to:
<a href=" http://clickme.onelist.com/ad/prospun1 ">Click Here</a>

------------------------------------------------------------------------




=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Ridecamp is a service of Endurance Net, http://www.endurance.net.    
Information, Policy, Disclaimer: http://www.endurance.net/RideCamp   
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=