1999 Darwin Award nominees.....

[connie B Berto <cberto@juno.com>]

This particular one is just too good not to share... if you want to read
the rest of them email me privately and I'll send 'em out...Cheers (;-), 
Connie B

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Yes, it is the 1999 Darwin Awards.  For those sheltered few of you who   
are not fully aware of the Darwin Awards; these awards are given annually
  
(and posthumously) to those individuals who did the most for the human
gene
pool by removing themselves from it. 
   <snip>

RUNNER UP..
A Vermont native, Ronald Demuth, found himself in a difficult position
yesterday. While touring the Eagle's Rock African Safari (Zoo) with a   
group of thespians from St. Petersburg, Russia, Mr. Demuth went overboard
to 
show them one of America's many marvels.  He demonstrated the
effectiveness 
of "Crazy Glue"... the hard way. Apparently, Mr. Demuth wanted to
demonstrate
just how good the adhesive was, so he put about 3 ounces of the adhesive
in
the palms of his hands, and jokingly placed them on the buttocks of a
passing rhino.  The rhino, a resident of the zoo for the past thirteen
years, was
notinitially startled as it has been part of the petting exhibit since
its 
arrival as a baby.  However, once it became aware of its being
involuntarily
stuck to Mr. Demuth, it began to panic and ran around the petting area
wildly making Mr. Demuth an unintended passenger.  "Sally [the rhino]
hasn't been 
feeling well lately. She had been very constipated.  We had just given
her a
laxative and some depressants to relax her bowels, when Mr. Demuth played
his juvenile prank," said James Douglass, caretaker. 
    During Sally's tirade two fences were destroyed, a shed wall was
gored, and a number of small animals 
escaped.  Also, during the stampede, three pygmy goats and one duck were 
stomped to death.  As for Demuth, it took a team of medics and zoo 
caretakers' to remove his hands from her buttocks.  First, the animal had
to
be captured and calmed down.  However, during this process the laxatives
began to take hold and Mr. Demuth was repeatedly showered with over 30
gallons of rhino diarrhea.  "It was tricky.  We had to calm her down,
while
at the same time shield our faces from being pelted with rhino dung.  I
guess you could say that Mr. Demuth was into it up to his neck.  Once she
was
under control, we had three people with shovels working to keep an air
passage
open for Mr. Demuth.  Wewere able to tranquilize her and apply a solvent
to remove his hands from
her rear," said Douglass.  "I don't think he'll be playing with Crazy
Glue for a while."  Meanwhile, the Russians, while 
obviously amused, also were impressed with the power of the adhesive. 
"I'm going to buy some for my children, but
of course they can't take it to the zoo," commented Vladimir Zolnikov,
leader of the troupe.
   <snip>

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