snakes & gators

[Howard4567@aol.com]

A few weeks ago I took some of my northern in-laws horseback riding in a 
swamp behind my house (this was when we still had enough water to call it a 
swamp).  When the horses put their heads down to drink I told everyone to be 
very quiet and still.  I said that the horses were smelling for gator.  I 
went on to explain to them that horses have a very keen sense of smell and 
can tell if a gator's nearby, up to a hundred yards.

Since I had pointed out a gator on a bank to them earlier they listened to me 
quite seriously.  I proceeded to tell them about one time when I was riding 
alone and was standing in the very spot we were in now.  And I told them my 
horse started blowing really hard and became extremely agitated.  All of a 
sudden a big gator comes flying up out of his deep water hole and heads right 
for my head.  He missed me by inches and I had never been more frightened in 
all my life.  I raced back so quickly that the trip was a blurred memory to 
me, but I'll never ever forget the teeth of that gator snapping at my head.

My sister-in-law (don't like her much, she's kind of a witch) started 
freaking out and sobbed to her husband, "I hate Florida.  Fires, mosquitoes, 
snakes, heat, and now damn gators.  Take me home now."

So the next day they packed their bags and left our house a week earlier than 
planned. They had decided to go back to Pennsylvania where it was much safer. 
 My wife looked at me, as they drove away, and asked, "What the hell happened 
on that horse ride?"  I told her that if you want the damn Yankees to go home 
you gotta tell them a gator tale.

happy trails,
Howard


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