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I did not write this "press release", but thought it was kinda funny!
Perhaps I just have a sick sense of humor!  By the way, my spell-checker
almost blew up on this one!

Susan Swope
AERC SE Region

                            .....WHEN YOUR HORSE CAN'T HEAR YA!

     Riding high on the success of such books as "You're My Mare Not My
and "Denial Ain't What Keeps The Horseshoe On," Pamela Wilsby-Higgins is
holding clinics across the country to promote her latest book and
"From A Whisper To A Scream: When Your Horse Can't Hear You." The plucky
blonde, so progressive in her methods of equine communication she's called
"The Woman Who E-Mails to Horses," is the first woman to receive national
attention in the growing field of touchy-feely horse training. Although
successful, Pamela has been criticized for her unorthodox techniques and is
the first to admit she's not a traditional horse trainer. "Training is such
worn out concept, even the word 'train' is archaic, it comes from the Old
French trahiner, to drag. And that's just what training is, a BIG DRAG!

"What I'm interested in is communicating with problem horses, letting them
know they're not alone. Since I too have issues with trust and a history of
abusive, dysfunctional relationships, I understand what they're going
I can also relate to frustrated riders. As I wrote in 'You're My Mare Not My
Mother,' at one point a guilt-tripping gelding shamed me into believing if I
were a prettier, thinner, smarter person I wouldn't be having riding
"My goal is to facilitate people away from the 'Self-Centered' riding made
popular in the 1980s to a more 'Co-Dependant' riding where the horse and
work closely to deepen their relationship and become enmeshed in the riding

   In defense of reports that her clinics are among the most expensive in
new industry, Pamela is unapologetic. "You get what you pay for. Horses are
individuals and it takes time to discover what form of communication works
best for them. Whispering to horses is fine, but some respond better to
murmuring or babbling, while still others prefer mime or slide shows. I have
found when working with a herd, semaphore is the most effective."

      Pamela further points out that not all bad horse behavior is the
of a negative
breaking experience. "Horses are very sensitive and can have a variety of
problems, both emotional and paranormal. They can suffer from depression,
self-esteem, eating disorders, even repressed memories. Most people are
unaware of the large number of horses who are survivors of alien abduction.
have found that repressed memories of such abductions are the primary cause
trailering difficulties. There are also horses unfairly labeled 'spooky,'
their behavior is actually an appropriate response to poltergeist activity."

    Pamela's symposiums cover a wide range of topics, such as:  Reimprinting
the Inner Foal, Obsessive/Compulsive Dressage, Gymkhanta? Andelusions of
Grandeur, Bi-Polar Bending, A.D.D. in Arabians, Fear of Flying Lead Changes,
and Feeling Suicidal?

Consider Eventing.  When not on tour, Pamela offers weekend retreats at
Passing Wind, her Malibu, California Ranch, that focus on specific breeds
riding disciplines. She will also customize sessions to meet a client's
particular needs and budget. "Once we even re-birthed a Tennessee Walker to
help her face her 'Water issues.' It was exhilarating and only 3 or 4 people
were injured." Pamela was unable to comment further on this event as the
matter is still in litigation.

    Pamela began developing her techniques under the tutelage of GoWaan
PoOLmiFynGer, the charismatic shaman of the Diamond-Phillips tribe and
of the ground breaking book, "Horse Buck Hard." "The whole monosyllabism of
Horse Buck Hard overwhelmed me with its Zen. I knew instantly I had to study
with him." GoWaan PoOLmiFynGer introduced Pamela to his tribe's ancient
practices of Equine-Aromatherapy, Prance-Channeling, Stall Feng Shui, Public
Relations and Marketing. "GoWaan taught me so much. Not only did I learn how
frequently riders with dysfunctional personal lives project unresolved
emotional issues onto their horses, but the outrageous amounts of money they
are willing to pay to be told it isn't their fault." Pamela went on to
GoWaan PoOLmiFynGer's assistant when he toured to promote his calendar and
video, Buckskin, Beads and Beefcake. "It was a great gig," she reflects,
I knew it wouldn't last, when I noticed most of the women attending his
out clinics didn't have horses."

    She next traveled to the Australian outback, where she studied with
acclaimed Snowy River Kanguru Bruce Fosters, whose masterwork, "The
Of Bonding From Brumbies to The Boardroom," has become an integral part of
executive training programs of many ultinational corporations. "Bruce is an
incredible visionary. He was the first person to theorize that a rearing
is really just asking for a hug!"

    Since starting her own clinics, Pamela has emphasized the differences
between her methods and those of her contemporaries, but she does admit to
performing the crowd pleasing, ubiquitous get-an-unstarted-horse-to-accept-a
saddle, bit, bridle and rider-without-breaking-its-spirit-in-under-an hour
demonstration. "Of course, since I'm using the techniques I've developed, my
version is different from what people have come to expect after seeing other
clinicians. For example, I find using a pyramid-shaped pen, instead of a
pen, brings more energy to the session. I also use indirect lighting,
candles and soft music. I start by having a few glasses of wine with the
horse, then begin to recount my earliest childhood memories of separation
abandonment, while lunging the horse at a trot.

  After several minutes of this, usually at the point in my litany of
victimization where my abusive second husband leaves me for my farrier, the
horse will begin to go through a visible change. While still at a trot, it
will start shaking its head and trying to cover its ears. This is the moment
call 'The Throw Up.' The Throw Up is the point a horse reaches when it can't
stand listening to my problems any more and will do anything to get me to
stop, including being saddled, bridled and ridden for the first time.
think it's magic when they see how willing the horse becomes once I shut up
and start saddling, but there's nothing mysterious about it. I just have a
very annoying voice and more issues than T.V. Guide."

    Future goals for Pamela include developing a web site, and a 900 number.
"I envision a network where for only 99 cents per minute, riders can speak
their own Psychic Tele-Trainer, that I've personally educated. I also plan
explore the financial aspects of communicating with other animal species.
willing to discourse with dogs or chat with cats. I'll even vocalize with
vermin if there's money in it."

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