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    Re: [RC] [ER2] My Life as a Ralph Lauren Model - Cora


    Loved this Lee....aren't we all there already?....Cora
    ----- Original Message -----
    From: <vallonelee@xxxxxxx>
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    Sent: Tuesday, September 24, 2002 7:20 AM
    Subject: [ER2] My Life as a Ralph Lauren Model
    
    
    >
    > MY LIFE AS A RALPH LAUREN MODEL  [Unable to display image]
    >
    >
    > So. I was in the mall the other day, and was noticing a display of Ralph
    > Lauren clothing that was accented by some well-placed English saddles,
    polo
    > mallets, and even a few photogenic straw bales (you have never seen such
    > glowingly clean straw in your entire life). There were some posters on the
    > walls between the racks that showed impeccably dressed ladies and
    gentleman,
    > lounging in a palatial and equally spotless stable, or leading a perfectly
    > groomed mount through the tall grass. There were mock hunt coats, mock
    > breeches, and even mock boots. Depicting and selling the life and times of
    > the horsey set isn't exactly new territory for Ralph Lauren, but the
    > sentiment here is clear: "Ah the life and times of the horsey set. Country
    > life, palatial estates, glowing, well-groomed mounts-glamour,
    personified."
    >
    > Excuse me one second.[Unable to display image]
    >
    >
    > HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
    >
    > Phew! OK, I feel better now. While I will admit that there is a certain
    > amount of money involved in horses, what most people fail to realize is
    that
    > we nutty horse people spend whatever we have, on the horses, and that
    country
    > life is far more dirt, sweat, bug, and hard labor intensive than is ever
    seen
    > in the Ralph Lauren catalog. Take the Ralph Lauren catalog, drag it
    through
    > the mud, and leave it out the elements for a few days, and then you'll
    have a
    > closer idea to what most horse people's lifestyle is truly like.
    >
    > Rather than the spotless country frocks, and (horrors) white pants of
    Ralph's
    > world, most horse folk are usually found in "barn clothes". This is the
    > euphemism that we use for "clothes most people would be embarrassed to
    give
    > away to the Good Will." In the summertime, barn clothes are usually some
    kind
    > of cut-off shorts, usually stained, usually with holes, and usually of a
    > style and color that could kindly be referred to as "out." The t-shirt or
    > tank top usually has a matching set of stains and rips, and often carries
    the
    > logo from some long forgotten competition or adventure.
    >
    > In the wintertime, we often look like stained abominable snowman. You know
    > those days when non-horse folk sit inside their houses, watching the snow
    > fall and wind howl, and say, "t'aint fit for man nor beast." Well, those
    are
    > the days we still have to go out and feed and muck and look after our
    horses.
    > If you really are a fashionista of the barn set, your preferred winter
    outfit
    > doubtless includes some item manufactured by the Carhart company (I have
    the
    > overalls), which keep you warm and dry in the worst weather, but are as
    > attractive and fashionable as industrial tarp. On days when the Carharts
    seem
    > too heavy, jeans (with long underwear visible under the rips),
    sweatshirts,
    > ski hat, gloves-basically think "suburban hobo" and you have the look we
    are
    > going for.
    >
    > And as far as the glamorous activities of country life, well, they are too
    > numerous to mention.
    >
    > There's nothing more glamorous than spending a day knee deep in the manure
    > pile (because it needs to be shifted), sweating it out for several hours
    on
    > horseback in the blazing sun (because that left lead canter needs to be
    > better), and then having your arms lengthened because the yearling had his
    > first good look at the neighbors dog while you were walking him down to
    the
    > field.
    >
    > Or there is the mowing and weed eating which tends to stain your shins an
    > especially attractive tint of green that makes it look like you've
    massacred
    > an alien horde. Or how about the "healthy glow" you get from dragging the
    > ring-the resultant dust gives you a nice "tan" without the use of messy
    > creams or lotions!
    >
    > At the end of a given Saturday, rather than martinis with the beautiful
    > people down at the hunt club, I usually only have the strength to ring up
    for
    > pizza and watch Trading Spaces (trying to get ideas of ways to make my
    > neglected house look better without actually putting any money into it).
    >
    > But what about showing? That must be glamorous right? All the hunt coats
    and
    > polished boots and braided manes. Indeed, what could be more glamorous
    than
    > that? Well, after getting up at 4:00am, bathing the horse (which of course
    > transfers all the dirt and loose hair on to you), cleaning all the tack
    and
    > equipment (which gets you covered in polish, soap, and Brasso), braiding,
    > loading horse and all equipment in to the trailer, driving several hours
    to
    > the middle of nowhere, unloading, wiping off, tacking up, and getting on,
    > well, by 9:00am you look like something the cat ate, threw up, and then
    > dragged in. Funny, of all the equestrian archetypes I've seen in old
    Ralphie
    > boy's catalogs, I don't remember the Girl With Black Shoe Polish on Her
    Nose,
    > Dirt On Her Legs, A Stain of Unknown Origin on Her T-Shirt, and Hair
    Crusted
    > Out In Several Directions By Sweat and Helmet Head. If they did feature
    that
    > doyenne in a photo shoot, instead of the usual sultry expression, her face
    > might register mild nausea from having just swallowed a braiding band. Or
    > possibly a bug.
    >
    > Without question, the most glamorous week of my life took place early in
    > 1995. I was living with a roommate on a farm of 15 horses in small town,
    on a
    > dirt road, in what is pretty much the middle of nowhere Virginia. For
    those
    > of you who didn't live on the eastern seaboard in 1996, you may have
    > forgotten we had a significant blizzard here. Our house, barn, road,
    > driveway, everything was covered with feet, and feet, and feet of snow. We
    > had drifts that were 8-10 feet high, and we were trapped on our farm for 9
    > days before the National Guard was able to get the blowers in to free us.
    > Now, we were hardly the only ones trapped by the storm, yet when everyone
    > else was lounging by the fire, or playing in the snow, my roommate and I
    were
    > slogging through hip-deep snow back and forth from the barn several times
    a
    > day, to bring hay, chip ice off the water buckets, and hand walk the
    horses
    > up and down the aisle to help keep their guts moving as the drifts had
    > trapped them in the barn.!
    > We were cold and wet for 9 days. But our horses all came through the
    > experience healthy and happy, and to us that was all that mattered.
    >
    > So Ralph, I'm waiting for the call-my horses and I are ready for your next
    > snapshot of country life.
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
    >
    >
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