AIN'T HORSE LIFE GRAND?

["Colleen Kirkpatirck" <polaristhewonderhorse@hotmail.com>]

>From: "Robert Kirkpatrick" <rjrp@earthlink.net>
>Reply-To: rjrp@earthlink.net
>To: Polaristhewonderhorse@hotmail.com
>Subject: FW: Horse People
>Date: Fri, 16 Feb 2001 9:20:29 -0800
>
>
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>             You
>know you're a horse person when.
>
>
>You pull a $17,000 horse trailer with a $1,700
>
>pickup truck.
>
>
>
>
>
>You realize that finding a horse shoe truly is
>
>     lucky because you've
>
>
>saved ten bucks.
>
>
>
>
>
>You'll drive an hour in a snowstorm to ride
>
>     your
>
>     horse, but God forbid
>
>
>you have to drive 5 minutes to the store to buy
>
>     groceries.
>
>
>
>
>
>When your six year old tells everyone that he's
>
>     going to be the "ring
>
>
>steward" at your aunt's wedding!
>
>
>
>
>
>Your friends no longer ask to get together with
>
>     you on a weekend
>
>
>afternoon because they know you'll say-"I
>
>     can't, I
>
>     have a show".
>
>
>
>
>
>You consider a pristine golf course as a waste
>
>     of
>
>     good pasture land.
>
>
>
>
>
>Every time you drive past a construction site,
>
>     you
>
>     think how you could
>
>
>use all the lumber at the barn!
>
>
>
>
>
>After arriving at the barn and finding the
>
>     sprinklers on in the indoor
>
>
>arena, you go ahead and ride in it anyway.
>
>     What's
>
>     a little indoor
>
>
>"rain"?
>
>
>
>
>
>Your horse gets new shoes more often than you.
>
>
>
>
>
>Your spouse complains that you love your horse
>
>     more then you love him
>
>
>and your answer"  "And your point is?"
>
>
>
>
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>Your spouse does something nice for you, and
>
>     you
>
>     say "god boy" and pat
>
>
>him on the neck.
>
>
>
>
>
>You're trying to pass someone in a crowded
>
>     hallway
>
>     and instead of saying
>
>
>"excuse me" to him, you cluck at them instead.
>
>
>
>
>
>You meet a business associate for a breakfast
>
>     meeting and they reach
>
>
>over the breakfast table to pick alfalfa out of
>
>     your hair.
>
>
>
>
>
>No one wants to ride in your car because
>
>     they'll
>
>     get sweet feed and hay
>
>
>all over their clothes...But hey, that's OK!!
>
>     You'd have to rearrange
>
>
>all the tack to make room for them anyway!
>
>
>
>
>
>You are totally grossed out by human hair in
>
>     the
>
>     sink or tub, but don't
>
>
>mind horse hair in your washer, on your
>
>     clothes,
>
>     or in your food...
>
>
>
>
>
>You don't mind throwing the frozen manure balls
>
>     for the barn dog to
>
>
>fetch!
>
>
>
>
>
>Your first stop in the office is the lady's
>
>     room
>
>     to remove the shavings
>
>
>from your shoes.
>
>
>
>
>
>The non horsy guy you just started dating gives
>
>     you a funny look after
>
>
>glancing into the back seat of your car, and
>
>     you
>
>     realize your whips and
>
>
>spurs have been noticed.
>
>
>
>
>
>Your kids run through the house and you tell
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>     them
>
>     to whoa.
>
>
>
>
>
>You see the vet more than you see your child's
>
>     pediatrician.
>
>
>
>
>
>You yell at the kids, and the horse's name pops
>
>     out.
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>
>
>
>
>On rainy days, you organize the tack room, not
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>     the
>
>     house.
>
>
>
>
>
>You actually get to a point where flies don't
>
>     bother you so much.
>
>
>
>
>
>You've considered moving into the barn, since
>
>     it
>
>     is cleaner than the
>
>
>house.
>
>
>
>
>
>Your horse seems the right choice when you need
>
>     to
>
>     talk something out
>
>
>with someone.
>
>
>
>
>
>You often sneak furtively into Laundromats and
>
>     pretend that you really
>
>
>didn't just put that stinky, filthy horse
>
>     blanket
>
>     into the comforter
>
>
>size machine.
>
>
>
>
>
>You plan corn on the cob for dinner just so you
>
>     can feed the cobs to
>
>
>your horses for a treat.
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>
>
>
>
>You have more pictures of your horses in your
>
>     office than you have of
>
>
>your family.
>
>
>
>
>
>You can find your boots in the dark by the
>
>     aroma.
>
>
>
>
>
>You drive up in the yard, get out of the car
>
>     and
>
>     inhale the perfume of
>
>
>the manure pile.
>
>
>
>
>
>You talk to the horse like they were kids.
>
>
>
>
>
>The only picture you have of your spouse just
>
>     happens to have been taken
>
>
>the one time you let him ride your horse.
>
>
>
>
>
>You hate posing for pictures unless you're on
>
>     your
>
>     horse.
>
>
>
>
>
>You don't notice the barn smells on your
>
>     clothes/shoes and wonder why
>
>
>"regular" folks are sniffing the air when you
>
>     walk
>
>     up.
>
>
>
>
>
>You know more about equine nutrition than human
>
>     nutrition.  Just ask
>
>
>your kids.
>
>
>
>
>
>All your clothes have horsehair on them, even
>
>     if
>
>     they've never been worn
>
>
>to the barn.
>
>
>
>
>
>You choose which clothes to buy on the basis of
>
>     whether or not you can
>
>
>wash horse slobber/manure out of them.
>
>
>
>
>
>You get out of your warm bed at 3:30 am, and go
>
>     outside to bring the
>
>
>horses in because it's raining.  If that's not
>
>     enough, you even dry them
>
>
>off a little, before going back to bed.
>
>
>
>
>
>You giggle when your braiding you're horse's
>
>     tail
>
>     as she passes wind in
>
>
>your face.
>
>
>
>
>
>You get your income tax refund and the first
>
>     thing
>
>     you do is head for
>
>
>the tack shop.
>
>
>
>
>
>Every time you go to the stable, it takes 3
>
>     hours
>
>     and you can't image
>
>
>where the time went.
>
>
>
>
>
>Your car is the only one in the company parking
>
>     lot that has an inch of
>
>
>dust INSIDE and when you open the door, a swarm
>
>     of
>
>     flies emerge.
>
>
>
>
>
>The first bills you pay each month are all
>
>     horse
>
>     related.
>
>
>
>
>
>You don't really "need" a phone anyway (unless
>
>     you
>
>     have to call the vet;
>
>
>oops, better pay that one).
>
>
>
>
>
>You choose your new dog by which breed is best
>
>     with horses.
>
>
>
>
>
>You always have new foal pictures in your
>
>     wallet.
>
>
>
>
>
>AIN"T HORSE LIFE GRAND?
>
>
>
>
>
>   =====
>
>   Colleen K.
>
>
>   __________________________________________________
>
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>
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>
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>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>--- Robert Kirkpatrick
>
>--- rjrp@earthlink.net
>
>--- EarthLink: It's your Internet.

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