remotely enduro-related funny

[SL S <stepnout@swva.net>]

For those of us needing help with resolutions about riding fantasies:

>
>How To Lie To The Bathroom Scale
> ---------------------------------
> 1. Weigh yourself with clothes on, after dinner... as well as in the
>    morning, without clothes, before breakfast, because it's nice to
>    see how much weight you've lost overnight.
> 2. Never weigh yourself with wet hair.
> 3. When weighing, remove everything, including glasses. In this case,
>    blurred vision is an asset. Don't forget the earrings, these things
>    can weigh at least a pound.
> 4. Use cheap scales only, never the medical kind, because they are
>    always five pounds off...to your advantage.
> 5. Always go to the bathroom first.
> 6. Stand with arms raised, making pressure on the scale lighter.
> 7. Don't eat or drink in the morning until AFTER you've weighed in,
>    completely naked, of course.
> 8. Weigh yourself after a haircut, this is good for at least half a
>    pound of hair (hopefully).
> 9. Exhale with all your might BEFORE stepping onto the scale (air has
>    to weigh something, right?).
> 10. Start out with just one foot on the scale, then holding onto the
>     towel rack in front of you, slowly edge your other foot on and
>     slowly let off of the rack. Admittedly, this takes time, but it's
>     worth it. You will weigh at least two pounds less than if you'd
>     stepped on normally.
>


Sally in Floyd, VA (I ended the techno-tyranny of the scale long ago: gave
it to Mom, 30 miles away.)