In a message dated 10/30/1999 11:32:25 AM Eastern Standard Time, SVPalomino
writes:
<< >Top Ten Exercises to Become a Better Horseman...
>>
>> 10. Drop a heavy steel object on your foot.
>> Don't pick it up right away. Shout, "Get Off, Stupid! GET OFF!"
>>
>> 9. Leap out of a moving vehicle and practice
>> "relaxing into the fall."
>> Roll lithely into a ball and spring to your feet.
>>
>> 8. Learn to grab your checkbook out of your purse
>> and write out a $200 check without even looking
>> down.
>>
>> 7. Jog long distances carying a halter and a carrot.
>> Go ahead and tell the neighbors what you are doing;
>> they might as well know now.
>>
>> 6. Affix a pair of reins to a moving freight train
>> and
>> practice pulling to a halt. Smile as if you are
>> having fun.
>>
>> 5. Hone your fibbing skills: " See, hon. moving hay
>> bales is FUN!"
>> and, "No, really, I'm glad your lucky performance
>> and multi-million
>> dollar horse won the blue ribbion. I am just
>> thankful that my
>> hard work and actual ability won me second place"
>>
>> 4. Practice dialing your chiropractor's number with
>> both arms
>> paralyzed to the shoulder and one foot anchoring
>> the lead rope of a frisky horse.
>>
>> 3. Borrow the U.S. Army's slogan: Be All That You
>> Can Be:
>> bitten, thrown, kicked, slimed, trampled, frozen...
>>
>> 2. Lie face down in a puddle of mud in your most
>> expensive
>> riding clothes and repeat to yourself,
>> " This is a learning experience, this is a learning
>> experience, this
>> is..."
>>
>> 1. THE NUMBER ONE EXERCISE
>> TO BECOME A BETTER EQUESTRIAN:
>> Marry money.
>
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