Clean blonde/sheep joke (long - delete if bored by such things)

["Kirsten Price" <splash@dakotacom.net>]

<sigh> Well, since there were so many who insisted <G>...

There once was a very smart blonde.  In fact, she was so smart, that she had
developed several unique mathematical techniques. She received many kudos
for her accomplishments (for which there were no known practical
applications). Sadly, the kudos were continually delivered along with some
"blonde joke" or other. She found it so VERY annoying, especially because
she was SURE no one would ever do such a thing if she were a brunette.
Certainly, there was no basis in truth for any of these stereotypes.

One day, she'd had quite enough of that and as she was moving to a new city
(a new state even), she decided that she would get a good quality dye job
and go brunette. Since no one knew her, she was sure that her disguise would
rid her of all the jokes and ridicule.  She could finally live her life as a
respected practitioner of relatively usesless unique mathematical
techniques. The dye job was truly a work of art, completely natural in
appearance, and she was confident no one would ever again deride her
intellect because of her hair color.

On her way to the new city, she was driving through some lush green pasture
land and saw quite a large herd of sheep. Naturally, the sheep were tended
by a shepherd, an older gentleman astride his stunningly beautiful Morgan
horse with a couple of really cool dogs. "AHAH!" she thought.  "This may be
the perfect opportunity to completely impress someone without getting the
inevitable blonde joke."

She pulled over to the side of the road and the shepherd, being the curious
and helpful sort, rode over on his stunningly beautiful Morgan horse to see
what she wanted.  The nouveau-brunette got out of the car and walked over to
the shepherd.  "Are you at all the wagering sort of man?" she asked.  The
shepherd thought for a minute. "Depends" he said. "What do you have in
mind?"  The blonde says "If I can tell you EXACTLY how many sheep are in
your flock in 60 seconds or less, can I have one?"  The sheperd was amused.
"No one can count sheep that fast, and they're not my sheep anyway.  One
sheep more or less won't be missed.  What the heck, I'm a wagering sort of
man for the moment." It WAS a very large flock and they were milling around
quite nervously because of the unusual activities. What the shepherd did not
know is that for her PhD dissertation, the blonde had developed a unique
method of calculating the number of sheep in a herd based on the changing
geometry of the herd when it was milling around nervously because of unusual
activities.

The blonde smiled and quickly began assessing the herd of sheep. After
several seconds, she smiled again and announced "There are 673 sheep in your
herd."  The shepherd was stunned. "I have never in my life seen such a
gift!" he exclaimed.  The blonde basked in the praise and to her relief, no
blonde joke followed.  Life was wonderful.  "So will you live up to your
bargain?" she asked.  "Of course, pick out whichever sheep you would like
and I'll help you load it into your car" the shepherd responded. She quickly
pointed out the sheep she wanted, as she had hoped he would say exactly
that.  The shepherd gave her an odd look, but climbed down off his beautiful
Morgan horse and together they coaxed the sheep into the blonde's car.

After shutting the door, the shepherd turned to the blonde and said "Before
you leave, you must give me the opportunity to win back my losses." The
blonde paused, she wasn't sure about this, but what talent could the
shepherd possibly have to match her demonstration.  "What did you have in
mind?" she asked.

"If I can tell you what your true hair color is in 60 seconds or less, will
you give me back my DOG?"


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