LITTLE KNOWN NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP FACTS

[renegade12@juno.com (Randy H Eiland)]

My friend, John Parke, writes the following and I will attempt to provide
appropriate answers to each point:

Let me see if I understand this.  Ten riders each from four weight
divisions
from each of the nine different AERC regions for each of two separate
rides?
That's 720 riders!  * John, your calculations are wrong..the actual
numbers are 50 qualifiers in each distance in each region - 100 x 9
regions = 900 riders!*  
In Timberon?  * That's the place*  There haven't been 720 mammals over 3
inches
tall in Timberon since time began. *Once again John is not quite
correct..while marking trail last year we believe we counted 721 elk in
one hour...and probably 1,721deer plus 17 bear..all but two were taller
than 3 inches*   Where will the ride banquet be?  On the airport runway
in lawn chairs?  *If they can get the potholes on the runway patched,
that is the plan...I will respond a bit later on the lawn chairs*  Randy
will have to buy a factory in Mexico to produce enough of the ride awards
he likes to give out.  *Ola - como esta mi amigo*  There aren't enough
people in Timberon to fix all the flat tires everyone always gets. *Not
to be crude, but we have hired Kathy Lee Gifford as a consultant to
assist us in getting the labor problem settled*   With the inevitable
backlog of flat repairs, it will take three weeks to evacuate the place
after the ride is over.*See previous response*

I've got to see this.  With ten placings in each weight division, even
Trilby
and I could probably qualify in some obscure 100 somewhere.  *Thats the
idea* Can you imagine 1000+ people waiting for us for dinner?  *We can
not be responsible for your welfare as our Release Form does not cover
lynch mobs*  Actually, if I go I think I'll dump the horse in Alamogordo,
fill the trailer up with ice and retire from all the money I'll make
selling it at the ride.  *We are now accepting bids from ice providers* 
I think the citizens of Timberon have
already semi-retired at least from selling us riders ice at Randy's
multiday
each summer.  *Actually, only 3 have retired and I understand two have
moved to Iceland*  This will be the endurance event of the century!  *
Actually, the last year of the century*  Go Randy!  *If it doesn't work,
I'll be gone faster than the Timberon Ice!*

John Parke
Solvang CA

Hope to see you there.

Randy

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