ridecamp@endurance.net: Re: Horse Lover's Lament

Re: Horse Lover's Lament

Dorothy Beebe (daadmin@psln.com)
Thu, 14 Aug 1997 08:04:39 -0700

That was terrific!! Although he's obviously go too much time on his
hands. He should have been "ridin."

dorothy & elly (who doesn't get to watch the Man From Snowy River before
rides anymore!)
taylorsville

----------
> From: Bill & Dee Fortner <wfortner@peop.tds.net>
> To: ridecamp@endurance.net
> Subject: Horse Lover's Lament
> Date: Wednesday, August 13, 1997 9:31 PM
>
> Hi all,
> My husband, Bill, created this little ditty and I thought you might
> enjoy it ... sexist though he is. I guess I didn't give him enough to
> do. <g>
>
> Dee Fortner
> NE Alabama
>
>
> THE HORSE LOVER'S LAMENT (Sung to the tune of "Rawhide")
>
> Ridin', ridin', ridin,
> Oh, how I do love ridin'
> Can't get enough horse ridin'
> RAWHIDE
>
> In any kind of weather,
> My ass is cravin' leather,
> I can not wait until I get to ride!
> It's ALWAYS such a pleasure;
> A joy I can not measure.
> It does such wondrus things to me inside!
>
>
> Moanin', moanin', moanin'
> Yes my ass is swollen
> In just 3 miles I'm groanin'
> RAWHIDE
>
> This buck, crowhop, and flutter
> Has turned my legs to butter
> I'm wishing that I had already died.
> All the things I'm missin'
> My soap op'ras and dishes
> Like a dream are passin' by my eyes.
>
>
> Runnin', jumpin', leapin'
> Yes my eyes are weepin'
> I wish I were home sleepin'
> RAWHIDE
>
> Blazin' way past lopin'
> My lycra jeans are smokin'
> Amazing! Since I think they're soaked in brine.
> My heart is palpatatin'
> My liver's dislocatin'
> My God! I just got strangled by a vine.
>
>
> Bitchin', bitchin', bitchin'
> Now my crotch is itchin'
> I could be home a stitchin'
> RAWHIDE
>
> Horse did a "Snowy River"
> MID AIR! My heart's a quiver
> Damn fool thinks that he's an aeroplane!
> Though I am still a sailin'
> My altitude is failin'
> I think this horse is totally insane!
>
>
> Prayin', prayin', prayin'
> It's too late for sayin'
> I wish I was home playin'
> RAWHIDE
>
> My raspy throat's a thirstin'
> My drawers are filled to burstin'
> Head to toe I know I'm black and blue.
> This horse is nine tenths devil,
> I'll say this on the level,
> If I survive I'm thinking barbecue!
>
>
> Cussin', cussin', cussin',
> I'm eloquently cussin',
> I need NEW words for cussin',
> RAWHIDE
>
> There's one thing I'm a hatin'
> There'll be no procreatin'
> I just landed on the saddle horn!
> The pain's excrutiatin'
> No ambulance a waitin'
> I curse the day that I was ever born.
>
>
> Whinin', whinin', whinin'
> My poor heart is pinin'
> I could have been out dinin'
> RAWHIDE
>
> Hell bent through briar and thicket,
> O'er barbed wire, post, and picket,
> I'm clinging for dear life as on we fly.
> If I can find the stable,
> And get off if I'm able,
> I'll never ride again and that's no lie!
>
>
> Seein', seein', seein',
> I can't believe I'm seein'
> Yes my eyes are seein'
> THE BARN
>
> Around the bend I see it!
> Too fast to stop! Oh sheyut!
> I'm in the air again ... this time alone!
> A triple flip 'fore landin',
> Then on my feet a standin'.
> A SUPER RIDE it was now that I'm home!!!
>
>
> Chorus:
> Horse broke wind! What a stink!
> Oh my back! Broke I think!
> Broke a nail! Need a drink!
> RAWHIDE
> Lost a spur, banged my knee,
> Bumped my head ... on a tree,
> Mercy sakes! Woe is me!
> RAWHIDE

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