Re: Having a bad day? Recyled Humor

RUN4BEAR@aol.com
Fri, 13 Dec 1996 09:58:07 -0500

The next time you have a bad day -- think of this ...

[This is a bricklayer's accident report that was printed in the newsletter
of the English equivalent of the Workers' compensation Board.]
===========================================
Dear Sir:

I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block
#3 of the accident reporting form. I put "Poor Planning" as the cause of my
accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following
details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone
on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found I
had some bricks left over which when weighed later were found to weigh 240
lbs.

Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a
barrel by using a pulley which was attached to the side of the building at
the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof,
swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and
untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of the 240 lbs
of bricks. You will note on the accident reporting form that my weight is
135 lbs.

Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my
presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I
proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of
the third floor, I met the barrel which was now proceeding downward at an
equally impressive speed. This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions
and the broken collarbone, as listed in Section 3 of the accident reporting
form.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the
fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley which I
mentioned in Paragraph 2 of this correspondence. Fortunately by this time I
had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope,
in spite of the excruciating pain I was now beginning to experience.

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the
ground, and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of
the bricks, the barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my
weight. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the
building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This
accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and severe lacerations
of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed
to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks
and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report,
however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move and
watching the empty barrel six stories above me, I again lost my composure
and presence of mind and let go of the rope....

****************************************************
TRIAL BY JURY PROTECTS ALL FREEDOMS
****************************************************
"Tyrannical governments had immemorially utilized dictatorial
criminal procedure and punishment to make scapegoats of the
weak, or of helpless political, religious, or racial minorities and
those who differed, who would not conform and who resisted
tyranny." --Justice Hugo L. Black
Chambers v. Florida, 309 U.S. 227, 236 (1940)
****************************************************
Harvey Wysong
National Spokesman, Fully Informed Jury Association
701 Longleaf Drive, Atlanta, Georgia 30342, U.S.A.
hwysong@mindspring.com (404) 266-0930
****************************************************


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