---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Tue, 22 Oct 1996 15:20:30 -0700
From: "Gina A. Kazimir" <gkazimir@CHARM.NET>
Reply-To: Discussion forum for Horse fanciers <EQUINE-L@PSUVM.PSU.EDU>
To: Multiple recipients of list EQUINE-L <EQUINE-L@PSUVM.PSU.EDU>
Subject: Top 10 Exercises to become a better horseman (funny & long)
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Sender: Discussion forum for Horse fanciers <EQUINE-L@PSUVM.PSU.EDU>
Poster: "Gina A. Kazimir" <gkazimir@CHARM.NET>
Subject: Top 10 Exercises to become a better horseman (funny & long)
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One of my barn-mates posted this in our barn. It's from an old magazine,
but I don't know which since the bottom of the page is torn off. Hope you
enjoy!
Top 10 Exercises to Become a Better Horseman
10. Drop a heavy, steel-shod object on your foot. Don't pick it up right
away. Shout, "Get OFF, Horton, get OFF!"
9. Leap out of a moving vehicle and practice "relaxing into the fall,
dear." Roll lithely into a ball and spring to your feet - unharmed.
8. Learn to grab your checkbook out of your purse and write a $200 check
without looking down while practicing your sitting trot.
7. Jog long distances carrying a halter and a carrot.
6. Affix a pair of reins to a moving freight train and practice pulling
it to a halt without hanging. Smile as if you're having fun.
5. HOne your fibbing skills: try "See, honey, moving hay bales is FUN!"
and "No, really, dear, I'm sincerely glad your, umm LUCKY performance
today won the blue ribbon. I'm just grateful that my intense training,
sweat, sacrifice, and style earned second place."
4. Practice dialing your chiropractor's emergency number (1-800-hey-ouch)
with both arms paralysed to the shoulder and one foot anchoring the lead
rope of a frisky horse.
3. Borrow the US Army slogan: "Be All You Can Be" - be bitten, thrown,
slimed, stepped on...
2. Lie facedown in a puddle of mud in your most expensive riding clothes
and reapeat to yourself "This is a learning experience. This is a
learning experience. This is..."
The number one exercise to become a better equestrian: Win the lottery.
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Date: Wed, 23 Oct 1996 07:42:57 -0600 (MDT)
From: Beth Hart <hart@cc.dixie.edu>
To: Louise Burton <xxdu78a@PRODIGY.COM>
Subject: Top 10 Exercises to become a better horseman (funny & long) (fwd)
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