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    [RC] Not Endurance...but too good not to share... - Jim Holland


    >From the Word Perfect Helpline which was transcribed from a recording
    monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the HelpDesk
    employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect
    organization for "Termination without Cause."
    
    
    This is actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support
    employee
    (now I know why they record these conversations)! :)
    
    "Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"
    
    "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
    
    "What sort of trouble?"
    
    "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went
    away."
    
    "Went away?"
    
    "They disappeared."
    
    "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
    
    "Nothing."
    
    "Nothing?"
    
    "It's blank, it won't accept anything when I type."
    
    "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
    
    "How do I tell?"
    
    "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
    
    "What's a sea-prompt?"
    
    "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
    
    "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
    
    "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
    
    "What's a monitor?"
    
    "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have
    a
    little light that tells you when it's on?"
    
    "I don't know."
    
    "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power
    cord
    goes into it. Can you see that?"
    
    "Yes, I think so."
    
    "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into
    the
    wall."
    
    "Yes, it is."
    
    "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two
    cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
    
    "No."
    
    "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other
    cable."
    
    "Okay, here it is."
    
    "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of
    your computer."
    
    "I can't reach."
    
    "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
    
    "No."
    
    "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
    
    "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's
    dark."
    
    "Dark?"
    
    "Yes, the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in
    from
    the window."
    
    "Well, turn on the office light then."
    
    "I can't."
    
    "No? Why not?"
    
    "Because there's a power failure."
    
    "A power... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you
    still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came
    in?"
    
    "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
    
    "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it
    was
    when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
    
    "Really? Is it that bad?"
    
    "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
    
    "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
    
    "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."
    
    
    Jim, (phone technical support for years), Sun of Dimanche, and Mahada
    Magic
    
    
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