The desperate newbie

[WindCzar@aol.com]

Hi all,
I am the one that Debbie Zanot posted about in the post "URGENT!! Please 
Please HELP!! " on the board last week.

I am incredibly embarrassed and humbled about this.  Words are difficult to 
find to express my feelings, but I want to try.  I was shocked that someone 
wanted to try to do something to help us, and so sorry there is a need.  I 
never dreamed this could happen to us.

I want to thank each and every person that has sent me emails of 
understanding, hope and promises of help.  I appreciate you more than words 
can say.  But, I don't want anyone to put a strain on their own budget to try 
to help us out.  Yes, we are desperate and don't know how this is going to 
end up, but I can't handle being a burden on others.  My husband feels the 
same way.  We wish we could earn any help we get from others.  We just need 
opportunities and resources.  We have always earned our own way before.

Life goes on no matter what happens.  And we have a lot of love in our 
children and their young families.  I would like to share a little insight 
with you of that, so please go to http://windczar.com/family.htm and get to 
know us a little better.  Our farm site is http://windczar.com but there is 
no link to our family pages from there.

We really love and enjoy our horses.  I was born a horse lover, it's in my 
blood.  My parents could tell you all about that.  Endurance was my first 
love and I've always dreamed of being able to get into it seriously.  
(Although I think I'm about too old to now.)  So, I bred for horses I knew 
could do it.  My horses are my best friends.

I have enjoyed reading this message board since Debbie told me about it.  I 
hope to continue to do so and even contribute sometimes.  I promise I'm not 
always needy and will not bring this situation up again, & be a burden.

One morning about a week ago, it was a warmer day, in the 50's with the sun 
shinning.  Our yearling colt, Magic, had made himself a nice bed out of hay 
pulled out of the round bale.  He laid down in it and took a bite of the hay, 
not eating it, just holding it in his mouth, looking goofy.  Then he tried to 
turn his head upside down to look at me, I was standing behind him.  I 
couldn't help but laugh at him.  I decided I could use some sunshine, too.  
So, I sat down in the hay with him.  He's so sweet.  He laid his head on my 
chest, still holding the hay in his mouth, but not eating it.  As I petted 
him his eyes got droopy and his head nodding, so I gently laid his head in my 
lap and laid back in the hay myself and just enjoyed.  No matter what else 
happens in this world I live for these kinds of moments that makes life worth 
living.  And of course there's our grandbabies, too!!  We do enjoy them so 
much.

Thank you all for your tolerance, help and encouragement.
Julie