Subject: [gaitedhorse] New years resolutions
for horses
Horse List of New Year's Resolutions >
1. I CAN walk and poop at the same time. I can, I > can, I
can > 2. I will NOT stop and poop or urinate every time > I pass the
same spot in the arena. > 3. I will NOT leave when my rider falls
off. > 4. My stall is NOT my litter box. When I have free > access
to my paddock, I will NOT > go back inside to pee.> > 5. I will
NOT roll in streams or try to roll when > my human is on my
back. > 6. I will NOT leap over large nonexistent > obstacles
when the whim strikes. > 7. I will NOT walk faster on the way home
than I > did on the way out.> > 8. I promise NOT to swish my tail
while my human > is cleaning my back feet.> > 9. I promise
also NOT to choose that particular > time to answernature's
call.> > 10. I will NOT bite my farrier's butt just >
because it's there.> > 11. I will NOT confuse my human's blond hair
for > really soft hay.> > 12. I will NOT wipe green slime
down the back of > my human's whiteshirt.> > 13. I will NOT
blow my nose on my human. > 14. I will NOT try to mooch goodies off
every > human within 1 mile radius.> > 15. I will NOT lay totally
flat out in my stall > with my eyes glazed over and my legs >
straight out and pretend I can't hear my > humanfrantically screaming "Are
you > asleep?" > 16. I will NOT chase the ponies into the
electric > fence to see if it is on. > 17. I will promise NEVER to
dump the wheelbarrow > of manure over while my human > is mucking my
stall.> > 18. I will NOT grab my lead rope in my mouth and >
attempt to lead myself.> > 19. I will NOT have an attitude
problem. I won't, > I won't, I won't!> > 20. I will NOT pull my
new shoes off the very next > day just to prove that I can.> >
21. I am neither a beaver nor a carpenter. I > promise I won't eat or
remodel the > barn or the new fences.> > 22. I am NOT a
Shin'a'in Battlesteed. I will not > act like one.> > 23. I WILL
forgive my human for the very bad > haircut, even though I Iook like
a > freak.> > 24. I accept that not every carrot is for
me. > 25. I will NOT do the Arab Teleport Trick when a >
bad/naughty/awful Horsasaurus > Monster breathes at me.> >
26. I will NOT jump in the air, turn 180 degrees > every time I see a
deer.> > 27. I will understand that deer are NOT >
carnivorous.> > 28. I will NOT shy at familiar objects just for >
fun.> > 29. I will NOT bite the butt of the horse in >
front of me during the> trail ride just > to say
"Hi".> > 30. I WILL put my ears forward and cooperate
when > it comes to photos. >