My first conditioning ride(long)

[Misxfire@aol.com]

Have been legging my horse up for the last few weeks and decided that today 
was the time for serious work to commence.  Have vowed to condition with 
difficult boots on fronts to reduce chances of stone bruises--got pulled for 
same last year on only ride attempted.  Rummaged around to find 2 red d___ 
boots, red is easier to see when looking down.  Found one without teeth 
flattened--had to remove screws from strap to rotate metal plates so can use 
vise to flatten teeth.  Replaced screws after picking out leftover foam from 
holes.  Forced d___ boot on without remembering to put twine around strap to 
pull same over ends of shoes.  Pried it off with assortment of crowbars and 
screw drivers.  Found twine, hammered d ___ boot on.  Could not get clamp 
down, cable too tight, noticed cable wound for use on bare foot.   Found a 
d___ boot in next larger size, applied it to other front.  Noticed clamp is 
pointing towards opposite fetlock.
Saddle up in cold 30-40 mph winds, start down trail and turn on heart rate 
monitor (have vowed to always use monitor on training rides).  Monitor 
displays 67, 58, 46?, 232?!?  Restart monitor, little heart beats bravely,  
zero displayed on screen.   Stop, get off, rearrange electrodes and try 
again, beating heart, zero.  Turn d___ thing off.  Notice wool saddle pad is 
slipping backwards and equilizer is climbing out under the front of saddle.  
Stop, get off replace pads, cinch up tight.  Proceed, horse travelling on 
apparently lead legs; he freezes every time he sees a cow.  Same cows that 
live next to his pasture.  Eventually try heart monitor again, not even a 
beating heart, only a lonely zero.  Turn back towards home, horse discovers 
he is not tired.  Wind has stopped, I discover polarfleece tights are really 
not suited for warming weather.  Finally arrive home, husband points out that 
it will take me at least 13.5 hours (counting vet checks) to finish a 50 mile 
ride at the rate of 13 miles in 3 hours.  I put horse up, notice only dry 
place in girth area is electrode-sized, will deal with d___ boots tomorrow, 
make myself a stiff drink and take a hot bath.  


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